Fashion statements - Part 1
All the "she's a tall,hep babe","his shoes are so cool","her lipstick is so chic","his cap is so sexy","this is such a yo place","his sunglasses are so hot" are drilling a second hole in each of my ears.This is the kinda lingo that Iam exposed to on a daily basis,thanks to my hanging around with the crowd of my age group.Not that I find this derogatory,not that I don't like it,not that I don't like the "punch" n "kicks" that I get out of using lingo like that,not that I don't use it generously.However, I DO find all this gaga about fashion statements like caps,clothes,shoes etc. nauseatic,irrelevant n extremely ludicrous at times.Times like when?Here's when:
It's a very cold day in December n it's the much-awaited ethnic day at Chutki's college.Chutki, with her group,is busy at an ADDA(slang for 'hang out') in college, bak-bakking endlessly about every humanly imaginable topic under the sun.Today the group's gossip is about how wonderfully traidtional n ethnic Ms.SweetGal is lookin in a saree.Just as the discussion drags on about who n who n who else is Ms.Sweet-n-beautiful,a hottie hunk(whose description follows)breezes by,waist-holding,a hotter babe (ofcourse,her description also follows his.They are sticking together after all, u c.So are their descriptions).
***Mr.Hot-Hunk has spiked his hair in the la-Vchannel-VJ style.
***He has taken pains n borne all pains to get all the prickable parts of his face pricked.There are small silver dangling rings adorning his eyebrows n lips- the kinds that my one-year-old neighbour wears exactly where they belong - on her ears ofcourse.
***There's a slightly bigger ring hanging from one n only one ear - a trademark of today's 'yo dudes'.This ring,needless to say,is my one-year-old-neighbour's bangle.
***There's a small round lump of silver stuck on his tongue,which flashes every time he opens his mouth to talk.
~~ First question that whirrs into my mind - how does he eat/taste/chew comfortably with that trummel stuck there!?!
~~Second question that baffles me - how the hell did he stick it in there?
~~Third - what if the glue or whatever it is, just fails sometime n he swallows n chokes oer the darn thing?
~~Fourth - if costly metals on his body are so fashionable, he might as well go get golden teeth - the kinds that some rich grandpas have.Then maybe I shall christen him 'The golden fanged one'.
So much for the face.With the face being so eye-catching,ur tempted to check out what else is yo about our man.So ur gaze shifts from the face.
***U cannot miss the heavy steel chain that's choking his neck.(the kinds that you use to fasten ur luggage to your seat while travelling by train so that the chaai-chaaaaaaaaai guy or masaala-vadaaaaaaai guy or the kaapi-kaaaaaaapppppppi guy doesn't wack it off when ur sleepy self is lost in sleep land - a blissful escape from the hustle-bustle of the mundane big bad world around).
***Follow the chain down n u'll notice the top 3 buttons of his loose khaaki shirt flung wide open.In his, what I suppose is a vain attempt to seduce chics by baring a hairy chest,our man ends up looking like a chapraasi auto driver.sigh!n some dudes like our man here,even have rudraaksh maalas peeking out of the 3 button-peek-hole.Rudraaksh around ur neck n rings all oer ur face!Wow now that's what I call contemporary fusion in fashion.
***As for the trousers,it surely is the supposedly hep 24-pocket black cargos.U n I may wonder what the 24 pockets are for but Mr.Richie Rich with silver rings n lumps all over his body, surely seems to have his reasons.
***Boot all the above with a pair of godzilla-sized green coloured shoes with white stripes n white laces which aren't tied ON the shoes like most of us do,but are pulled back like the reins of a horse and tied all the way all over the back of his majesty's legs too.
***Top off this cool-dude look with his flaunting the latest radio-cum-camera-cum-infrared enabled,bluetooth enabled,internet access enabled,Gawd-knows-what-the-hell-else-is-enabled cell phone.All that seems to be missing on our fashionable student is a bag/book.
To be continued...
posted by chutki @ 8:10 PM
4 comments
4 Comments:
Ms.Chutki.. this is a free country and everyone has the right to dress or undress (to a certain degree only. For further queries go to Mallika Sherawat/Sallu Bhai). If grapes are really sour for you, its not wise to get so cheap! Com'on go buy size 100000 jeans simbly!
- another "sizable" follower
[Anonymous]:Dear Mr.Anonymous "sizeable" follower,
(1)Thanks for dropping by my blog.
(2)I KNOW we live in a free country n am in total agreement with your views about fashion being a personal choice.
(3)However, dear Mr.IMPATIENT "sizeable" follower who cannot wait until I have completed my write-up,I would like to draw the kind attention of your honour's discerning eyes,to the title of this post which clearly mentions "Part 1" n also to the end of this post which clearly mentions "To be continued".Any moderately-educated reader with even a bare minimal knowledge of the International language would comprehend from these two phrases, that the writer, is not yet done with what she wants to say.
(4)A reasonably comprehending reader,would clearly make out from the "To be continued" clause n from what has been said in this post,that ONLY the descriptive paras have been penned down so far n the all-important summary/bottomline/crux/"what is my conclusion of what I've described" part is yet to follow in a future post.
In fact the very point that I intended to drive home was:
Fashion is definitely a matter of personal choice but we would all make a more SENSIBLE choice if we keep factors like weather,occasion n peers in mind when we choose our fashion statements.Wearing a shirt half-open (undressing as you crassly call it)on a VERY COLD winter day as I described in my post,showing up in western attire on the ETHNIC day is ridiculous to say the least.
(5)Just coz I call myself 'moti',just coz Iam sportive enough to easily laugh at myself anytime n anywhere,does NOT mean that I gladly welcome personally offensive "grapes r sour.go get urslef a blah blah blah" comments from a coward who takes advantage of a sportive spirit n barks out his/her offensive opinions without revealing his/her identity.So dear Mr/Ms.Anonymous,if you haven't seen me n r just takin a shot in the dark,please be informed that Iamn't as sizeable as you think or as sizeable as i myself keep saying sometimes.Even if Iam, it's none of your business.If you have seen me n r still saying what you are saying,please contact some charitable organization that helps the blind.They may fund your eye treatment costs.
(6)If your """kind""" self that has taken a lot of pains to post personally offensive comments that call me CHEAP and advise me to go n buy size 100000 jeans(hope I got the number of zeros right.I don't have a tape to cross-verify now)can stop your impatient self from jumping to conclusions over an incomplete post and offer some CONSTRUCTIVE criticism or other valuable contributions instead of such personally offensive comments,YOUR presence in MY blog space would be a lot more appreciated.
(7)Last but not the least,I meant no offence.Hope you did not take any either.I just shot back enough offence at you to offset what was shot at me :)
[Anony]: I don't think Chutki meant any insult to any fashion, however kinky. The post has an amusing tone to it, not a contemptuous one.
[Chutki]: I don't think anony was as serious either! Most likely we've someone here with really twisted sense of humor :). Shun!
You two kids, not shake hands and say your sorries :))
I personally liked this one and waiting impatiently for the girl's desc *DROOOOL* ;-)
ROTFL! U r soooooo impossible,dear ol' Varun Singh!!!Iam at a loss for words for once :)
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