The R factor in a relationship

My instructor for the day has been babbling about 'relationships' between 'entities' in his desperate efforts to help us master UML.n being the lateral thinker that Iam(Iam tryin to be soft on myself....hence calling myself 'lateral thinker' instead of 'mental loafer'/'incorrigibly off-track' which wud've been more apt in this situation), I got into my 'Plato ki amma' philosophical garb n started pondering on what one D-thing I consider quintessential, to hold a relationship together.I mean the Fevibond item in a reln.After initially groping with the hackneyed n obvious

affection
frequency match
space
common interests
agree to disagree

etc list, I was forced to halt for a moment n think about 'Respect/Admiration'.I began to associate with a few past stray incidents in my life n in the lives of my closest cronies......incidents when we've mercilessly written off people that we wouldn't want as part of our lives ever again,incidents when we've consciously chosen to keep a safe distance from a few people.After a brief incident-based-post-mortem aimed at digging deep into why we did what we did,I realized one factor that was common in all these cases.To sum it up:

We frame our inital opinions about people based on either the first impression or, as is the case with the more thoughtful lot,based on our interactions with these people and their reactions to situations over an initial acquaintance period that we have with them.During this period, a subconscious concrete classification of what we like and dislike about the person begins to form in our minds.Over a period of time, we accept the person with these initial notions of not-so-bad vices/tolerable vices that we had spotted in him/her.


As the relationship grows older and moves from 'acquaintance' to 'friend' or 'more than a friend', we begin to witness some events to which he/she reacts in a way that's not quite favourable to our taste.Then comes the great fall,suddenly reducing the initial 'wow' opinion we had had of the person to zilch n giving way to thoughts such as "Oh but i thought he/she was a lot more mature than this!","Oh but i thought he/she'd handle it better","Oh I thought he/she gave our relationship the utmost importance and prioritized it over all else","I thought I was his/her very best friend","I didn't know he/she was so foolish.He didn't even know THIS!?!","He doesn't present himself/herself well".We may limit this judgement to just that incident and uphold our initial perception of the person OR in the sad case that the incident had major repercussions, we may head towards souring our relationships.Initial perceptions are washed away,we do not respect/admire the person anymore cz they just aren't as wonderful as we thought they were.Bottomline:The day when you feel your respect for a person slipping away is the day when the relationship has begun its journey on the downward slide.

Quote for the day: Cheap things are of no value, valuable things are not cheap.
Today in History:Tito was made the president for life of the newly named Socialist Federal Republic of Yugoslavia!!!