maverick musings

Beyond the obvious - Part 2

2007-02-02T03:06:00.000+05:30

What Spirituality meant to me back then: The only (thankfully the only) occasion when I had had anything to with spirits in my childhood was when an over-inquisitive bunch of us purposely missed our van after school and stayed back to play the coin game where you invoke a dead soul and pose questions to supposedly get answers from the spirit. We did get what we then thought were answers and very disturbing ones at that. It had us all scared to death. We shrieked out loud, threw the sheet and the coin and ran for our lives! This is what happens when kids don't behave themselves, act ultra-smart and dabble into things they shouldn't.

...and what it means to me today: Today, spirituality means something completely different from some crazy voo-doo stuff that I thought it was. Put simply, it just means to me, connecting better with oneself through better awareness of the self, guided in part by a certain faith - blind or otherwise.

What God meant to me back then: That person, whose temple I could visit with grandpa. Grandpa'd ask me to close my eyes, pray for what I wanted n voila! when I opened my eyes, it would be right there before the God's idol. It was only many years later that it dawned on me, that it was just a silly ploy of grandpa's: he knew I'd always pray for nothing other than chocolates each and everytime we went, he'd get some with him, place it before the idol when I closed my eyes and conned me into believing it was God who granted my wishes!

...and what He means to me today: I don't know whether to call myself a theist, an atheist or an agnostic but I do believe in resting my precious faith n trust in a supreme force more than I can in most people around! I do pray for a few minutes every morning as a matter of habit. That apart, I do of course say special hellos to Him when Im going through those ultra-good times for which I have to thank Him and ultra-sad times when I need someone's neck to wring!

All in all, there's a certain serenity and genuineness about having those lil informal conversations with God in any way one wants to, without really forcing oneself into following the written-in-stone and cast-in-iron rules/methods for praying that each religion imposes on members of its community, whichever the community may be. That's precisely what I mean when I say 'spiritual but not religious'!

For any fourth person (the other three being I, me and myself of course), doesn't it seem abhorably quirky to witness a girl (aah no, the 'woman' can wait. 'Girl' will do for now) my age, to be rambling about religion instead of rave parties, to be tasting spirituality instead of spirits and to be discussing God instead of guys!?! Errrr wellll, bbye, Im off to a party. As for the spirits n guys, ye all can have it; they aren't my cuppa tea :)

Quote for the day:
For me, the spiritual quest will be a life-long work in progress.
~ Dan Brown

Beyond the obvious - Part 1

2007-02-02T01:36:00.000+05:30

He: What're you reading now?
Me: The Bhagavad Gita
He: Really? Interetsing...How religious a person are you?
Me: I am spiritual but not religious
He: What on earth does that mean?
Me: Forget it, nothing. Just an interesting option that Orkut provides on its profile page.
He: Naaaaaah, knowing you Ms. Esoteric, Im not buying that

Having got a sneak peak of what is to follow, any sane person will stop reading right here. For the remaining insane morons, well, join the club :)

So getting back to the point, what do religion, spirituality and God mean to me? I don't intend to (just a nicer way of saying 'Im not capable of') pen down an entire spiritual discourse right now and right here but very briefly (yeah right!) here's what those high-sounding, supposedly profound terms mean/have meant to me:

What 'religion' meant to me back then: One of those words which I had hardly heard in usage, whose meaning I did not know and whose relevance in my life I did not understand until one fine day my van driver dropped me back from school even before school could open for the day. He handed me back to my mom n said "School illa ivattu. Mandal Commission galaate ante" (There's no school today. Mandal Commission riots are on). All it meant to me was one more holiday, some more fun. I had no clue of how religion and caste-based politics (which at that time had VP Singh at the centre of the storm, with his decision to implement the recommendations of the Mandal Commission), was taking severe tolls. The pomp of an extra holiday quickly came to a boring end; I wasn't allowed to go out n play in the true spirit of a holiday, since there was a curfew imposed and shoot-at-sight orders were issued. So all that religion meant to me back then, was something that had spoiled a good holiday.

Another brush with the then-mysterious 'religion' was when my family on one side and ,my school teachers on the other had me confused totally about what religion I belonged to. The teachers in... hold your breath...primary school, used to give us copies of The Bible, insist that we read it and told us that we all shouldgrow up to be true Christians. A few other teachers who were Muslims would often ask me what religion I was, thanks to my name - one that is used both in Hindu and Muslim communities, thereby not making my religious connection too obvious. When I innocently told them I had no idea, they'd conclude and insist that I was Muslim, since according to them, my fair skin and Muslim name were very characteristic of their community.Dash home, and there would be a copious regimen of daily prayers, which I did not understand beyond the melody and tune since they were neither in English nor my mother tongue - the only languages I could comprehend then. Confusion prevailed in my mind, of which religion I belonged to. Though it was an insignificant doubt at the corner of my mind to start with, the frequency with which I began to encounter the question "Which religion are you?" from various people and the fact that it was something significant enough to not let me play on a holiday, made me think it must be a really important goddamned thing and I must be stupid to not know it, when everybody around me seems to know. So it spurred me to finally go and ask my parents "Which religion am I?" and I'll never forget the confused look on their faces.

...and what it means to me now: Now that so many years have elapsed between then and now, my awareness of what religion means has certainly gone beyond knowing which one I belong to but the first learning i.e 'Religion is something that often spoils a good holiday because it causes riots' has unfortunately been proven true, time and again. If going to places of worship and following norms of worship laid out in the texts is what religion means, I amn't totally against observing those rituals but don't quite relate to most of it.

CONTINUED ...

Souls on sale

2007-01-12T11:16:00.000+05:30

The theatre is full, the show must go on.
The gallery's teeming with an ostentatious moron
And more of his clan, who've sold their souls.
They're so spineless that they cling on to poles.
Poles of applause for all that they do,
Be it their soiled money or another prestigious ado

They're all waiting for an actor to grace the stage
Don't they know that it's they who're on stage?
They play to the gallery full of their own kind,
They've learnt to play all, except their own mind.

'Sold out' reads the sign, the collection's good
Swollen with nods of approval, fake brotherhood.
Tis enough to boost their egos, stroke their souls.
Souls that are no more theirs but sold out to black holes
That suck them into wanting more nods and more poles

They've littered the stage, the true actor shant come,
For he ne'er plays to the gallery, needs no nod or sum.
The show shall never go on and they've forgotten they're waiting too,
They've witnessed each other's show alright, who cares to know what's true

No loss, no gain

2006-09-04T00:00:00.000+05:30

Today is one of those days when my idle mind is experiencing a self-administered overdose of vague, cynical philosophy on a sleepless midnight. The devil in the idle mind thinks:

Life is pretty much like the stock market: When you invest time/effort/emotions or anything that means something to you, just as you invest money in a stock market, you may gain/lose possession of knowledge/money/people/repute, just as you gain/lose possession of your stocks in the stock market.

However one big difference between life as a birth-to-death game and the stock market as an entry-to-exit game is: There is a net gain/loss of money that you make in the stock market between the time you begin to build your portfolio of stocks and the time when you wind up your trading and sell out all your stocks. In life, however, there's no net gain/loss of ANYTHING at all...because, no matter how much knowledge/money/people/repute you win/lose between your birth and death, the truth - the blatant truth remains that you brought nothing with you when you were born into this world, you're gonna take nothing upon your demise - so there's ZERO net gain/net loss. Safer game compared to the stock market, I say!

Success? What's that?

2006-08-21T16:45:00.000+05:30

A Yale graduate once said "If by the time you are 35, you know what you want to do with the rest of your life, you can consider yourself an early starter". I can't agree more. Caught between a Paulo Coelho on one side who impresses me with the inspirational power of following one's dreams and the rigmarole of an MBA placement season on the other side where I don't quite fit in with the idea of a sea of people scurrying neck to neck to grab the same old fat-pay-packet, proven-to-make-you-rich beaten path jobs, I sometimes wonder what it is that I'd look for in myself or in someone else to label me/them 'successful'. Loads of money? Fame? Awesome educational degrees? Bagging the hottest seat of an unbeatably big company? "I personally know every single famous sperm that ever came to life on planet earth" kind of a strong social network? Revelling in the warmth of an immensely fulfilling relationship? A happy-as-a-lark family? ...

Or maybe, success is when I or you for that matter, just find an answer to that big question: What does success mean to you?

I pretend, you pretend, we all pretend

2006-07-03T11:48:00.000+05:30

I liked what my junie had penned on his blog:

http://zuu-ology.blogspot.com/2006/05/i-pretend.html

Needless to say, the narcissist me liked my reply as well:

A hodgepodge of mirth n mess so dense,
That's truly how life is;
It's crazy how we feign pretense,
Of a hunky-dory bliss.

But why? To fool him? Or her?
Nay we're fooling ourselves too.
Let's lift the veil n look yonder
n live life pure and true.

Simplest but wisest nugget of wisdom

2006-07-01T21:21:00.000+05:30

I love the sign-off line my friend uses in his mails. It reads:

I can summarize all that I have learnt about life in just three words:

IT GOES ON!

Change...sometimes and always

2006-06-26T01:52:00.000+05:30

C...H...A...N...G...E

It's sometimes most welcome,
It's sometimes damn scary,
It's sometimes for the better,
It's sometimes for the worse,

It sometimes strengthens bonding,
It sometimes shatters love;
It sometimes mends attitudes,
It sometimes seeds mean ones;
It sometimes cements your faith,
It sometimes makes a mockery of it;
It sometimes gets you to focus on your goals,
It sometimes won't let you concentrate.

It sometimes strengthens you as a person,
It sometimes shatters you as one,
It sometimes makes you dream starry-eyed,
It sometimes jolts you harshly out of your dreams...

How unfair then, that it is always around!

A drop, then another and another

2006-05-31T19:45:00.000+05:30

It started with a single heavy drop , then another and another
They rolled down my cheeks, as if tickling me with a feather,
Not a single soul around to wipe those drops away,
They rekindle a nostalgia that I wanna keep at bay.

Sitting by the window sill, I savoured memories of the past
Which sported a smile here, a tear there - oh! it was so vast
While the drops ravished my face and made their way down,
I heard voices behind me; in them I felt my nostalgia drown
Oh no! I was no more in a space of my own.

It's time to get back to the cliched rigmarole,
To the mundane world returns my confused soul.

As for the drops rolling down my cheek, they rolled no more
For they were just raindrops; not tears as you thought, o sore!

Yeah it rained in Mumbai ... it was blissful getting drenched.

Hypocrites!

2006-04-17T21:45:00.000+05:30

"May his soul rest in peace" they shouted in unison. Did they really mean it?

On that fateful afternoon of 12th April, 2006, Karnataka lost one of its most revered and talented actors of the Kannada film industry - Dr.Rajkumar. Just as Kannadigas prepared to give the departed soul a tearful farewell and a deserving tribute, violence and cheap vandalism rocked the city. Buses were stoned, tyres burnt, mobs lathi-charged, lots of public property damaged and 6 people killed.

Contrary to what most groaners who were the victims of such public disruption claim, the ruckus created by the "fans" wasn't just because of the fact that the actor died a natural death.It was because his body was being shifted from one place to another like a sealed snail-mail. Fans who gathered outside his bungalow to have a final glimpse of the body had to run pillar to post, shifting no less than 5 venues! There's also a huge question mark lingering even to this day, over who created the ruckus at all. Rather than the fans, it seems more likely that it was an act done by the anti-social elements. Neglected by the government they live, in filthy, godforsaken areas, where education has no respect and lives have no value. They wait to take revenge, revenge against the government, revenge against the society, which have provided them nothing. Worst of all, they are supported by parties which are not in power, parties that are interested in gaining cheap political mileage out of the entire mournful episode. Karnataka's opposition party is believed to have bribed these anti-social elements and instigated them into committing acts of arson and vandalism, just to expose frailties in Kumaraswamy's administration and nail him by hook or crook.

It isn't just Bangalore that has been witness to such embarassing crowd behaviour. Bad crowd behaviour has been a known devil in the Indian society as a whole. The shameful vandalism witnessed in Bangalore was just one amongst a series of such nauseating crowd behaviour - The death of MGR in TN and NTR in AP witnessed vandalism akin to the one we saw on 12th April,2006. On a slightly unrelated note, it also rekindles memories of the Eden Gardens fiasco, where an unsportive crowd made it inevitable for India to hang her head in shame in front of a powerful West Indies team; Conrad Hunte was reported to have climbed the flagpole to save the West Indies flag, before fleeing the ground on foot. Unfortunately, there are very few Conrad Hunte’s in India and they stand vastly outnumbered by scores of people like you and me who just read and write about mob fury, discuss it, condemn it, complain endlessly about it and blame the system for all its loopholes. We are no doubt responsible citizens in so far as not indulging in such mobs is concerned. We are responsible citizens in so far as condemning such behaviour is concerned. BUT are we really responsible enough to go that extra mile to look beyond just our dutiful roles in the society and do something bigger to jolt atleast a few vandals into a greater level of sensibility and social responsibility?

Like Gururaj observes in his blog, whenever there is a socially impactful event/condition, we generally see people around us clustering into one of the 3 groups - the talkers, the indifferent and the doers. The same was the case with Dr.Raj's demise. I, for one, am ashamed to note that I (probably most of us) remained in the first of these groups. Is abstinence from mob violence the only contribution we can make as socially responsible citizens? Can't we do something more, even if it's just a small thing, towards preventing such an incident again? Even small acts of responsibility such as contribution of money and/or time and effort towards initiatives like education/rehabilitation of anti-social elements could make a big difference. The next time we say "May his soul rest in peace", let us really mean it!

Book Review: WISE and otherWISE - a salute to life

2006-04-04T21:11:00.000+05:30

Title:WISE and otherWISE - a salute to life
Author: Sudha Murty
Publisher: East West Books (Madras) Pvt. Ltd.
Published in: April 2002
No. of pages: 188
Price: Rs.150
My rating:**

WISE and otherWISE is a compendium of 51 short stories, each with an underlying thought-provoking moral. The content, no doubt succeeds to a certain extent, in sowing the seeds of soul-searching. However, the style of writing and the gasconade veiling the incidents accounted in the book, are a huge let down.

"Dedicated to 'The Shirtless Ones of India' who really taught me what my country is" reads the first page of the book. Little did I realize when I read this, that the writing inside, would also pretty much appeal, mostly to the Shirtless Ones of India. The style of writing is annoyingly simple and insipid while brazen gasconade stands out ironically, even in those handful of stories that attempt to highlight humility as the underlying moral. The style of writing does get on one's nerves unless ofcourse the reader happens to be a non-English-medium, moral-science-crazy, 4th grader kid, who considers it a satisfying learning experience when he comes across the simplest of English sentences that read something like "There was a fox. It was cunning. It saw grapes in a field. Fox jumped. Grapes were too high. Fox thought that grapes were sour and walked away". If the reader does not belong to this class of readers, the feeling that he/she is left with at the end of the read is "Aha! Light, thought-provoking read alright but definitely not an absorbing read. Not a single new word learnt, not a single new brilliant idea pondered upon, it was merely 4 hours of reading tales that grandma would've told me in a single 1-hour session. What the ...".

xx million copies sold. Hats off on this record, Mrs.Murty.Errr....Is this figure a surprise, considering that your company's HR is infamous for shoving in a free copy of your book in the new joinees' welcome kit?

Quote for the day: The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them.

Enough?Truly happy?

2006-03-25T03:00:00.000+05:30

She has had enough academic excellence, to know that's not what makes her truly happy;
For, academics have made her literate, not educated, anyway.

She has had enough money, to know that's not what makes her truly happy;
For, there are very few things that matter, that money can buy anyway.

She has had enough social recognition, to know that's not what makes her truly happy;
For, her own approval of herself, and not the society's, matter anyway.

She has partied hard enough, to know that's not what makes her truly happy;
For, she's just superficially having a good time anyway.

She has had a friends' circle that's big enough, to know that's not what makes her truly happy;
For, most friends have been friends for a reason or for a season anyway.

She has had enough men asking for her hand, to know that's not what makes her truly happy;
For, there hasn't yet been a deserving target for her love anyway.

However,

She has a lovely family to live for, and she can never have enough of them;
She knows that their very presence makes her truly happy.

She has been learning interesting things, and she can never have enough of it;
She knows that this makes her truly happy.

She has been visiting deprived kids, and she can never have enough of their company;
She knows that seeing them happy makes her truly happy.

She has stood courageously by her toughest promise until the promisee had enough of it;
She knows that her courage makes her truly happy.

She has learnt to live life on her own terms, has had enough of being answerable to anyone else;
She has learnt how to keep herself truly happy.

Book that Iam currently reading: Wise and Otherwise by Sudha Murty

I miss math

2006-03-16T02:01:00.000+05:30

How long would it take to decide?

5 days now since I've been back in bangalore n Im in the process of catchin up with my pals. Just as I was mulling over how euphoric a get-together with old friends would be, M told me her experience arranging a get-together the last time she was here:She planned one but later realized that there were some of our friends who were caught up in ego clashes n break-ups n God-knows-what-all with each other. This meant A wouldn't attend the get-together when B was around, B wasn't fine when A and C were around and so on."Whew!" she sighed, "It was hell getting them all to meet at once. So I had to ditch the idea". She moved on to fill me in on other stuff, while I, who happened to be in a geeky mood then, was stuck right there, mulling over how her problem could've been solved. A few scratches here n there on whatever's left of my grey cells did manage to chalk out what I thought was a very straight-forward solution: (1)Make all possible pairs of 2 from the initial list of people you intend to invite.See whether every such pair matches any pair on the "enemy pairs" list.If it does, eliminate one of them and so on. I wasn't convinced of this brute-force method being the best one though.

A lil more thinking yielded this one (2)Make a list of all people and call this the initial list.In front of every person's name, write a number indicating the number of enemies he/she has and list all the enemies that he/she has.Now blindly include all people bearing the number 0 in your invitees list.Next look at people bearing the number 1.Suppose A bears the number 1 and B is listed as his enemy.Compare the numbers associated with A and B.Choose the lower-numbered one of these two into your invitee list and chuck his enemy into the excluded list. Next move on to persons bearing the number 2,3,4 and so on.

I guess this was somewhat better but I wasn't quite convinced it was perfectly alright.A little bit of googling yielded this. Shux! it hadn't quite occured to me that what I was trying to solve mentally for Ms.M, was in reality a fairly complex problem. Damn!I wanna go back to school.I miss math. Who knows? Black holes must've resulted from God dividing the universe by zero!

Quote for the day: A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
~Paul Erdos

Bangalore calling

2006-03-01T01:36:00.000+05:30

I was on an 'official' visit to Bangalore for 2 days, to interview the facchas who aspire to join SP for the PGDBM batch of 2008.5 nostalgic moments quickly captured in a couple of phrases each:

(1) The train journey: Roars of laughter; sound peaceful sleep that seemed to last forever; listening to horror stories and playing spooky school-kids' games of calling the dead ones' spirits for 2 full hours,starting at 12 midnight; pretending to be a major intellectual giant of sorts (:-p) by perching myself at the train's doorstep, deeply buried in Amartya Sen's 'The Argumentative Indian' (lovely book.A review on this, hopefully some time later); the "Suniye,zara yahaan aayiye na...mummy ne aapko aaj shaam ko chaai pe bulaaya hai.Zaroor aana haan?" piece of nonsense that was exchanged between ...ahem ahem, blush blush...the so-voted 'best couple of the batch of 2007' at SPJIMR.

(2) A special gift that I absolutely loved. Rice-writing's such an admirably beautiful art!I wish I can try my calligraphy skills on rice sometime.

(3) Hogging home-made chapatis at 1 in the night, over a dining table that resounded with never-ending stories that I had to tell my folks for the nth time.

(4) The chill early-morning wind that threatened to cut through my skin as we rode at 80kmph to the interview centre, only to find that I was one of the first ones to arrive.

(5) A stupendous day of interviewing, that I immensely enjoyed.It's so much fun being on the other side of the grilling table, except that it's hard to control your laughter at times...times such as those when a faccha who has grabbed vague pathetic economics fundas from God-knows-where, when posed with a question "India has touched a GDP growth rate of 8% but sustaining it is a big question.What would you, as the PM of India do to sustain this growth rate?" throws in an answer like "I will reduce the interest rates!!!!" :) The day witnessed loadsa guffaws, some "Hats-off-to-you-sir,Can I meet you over coffee this evening? ;)" kind of brilliant performances, impressive communication skills and last but not the least,some ruthless stripping of false camouflages of brilliance and some melting of nose-in-the-air-attitude (which I must admit, the sadistic side of me loved doing).

"Great job,girl.Very good show" was what the revered profs left me with."Great job admissions committee,superb organizing skills" was what I left the organizers with.

Book Iam currently reading: The Argumentative Indian by Amartya Sen

Titanic

2006-02-23T20:28:00.000+05:30

Hehehe...Found the link stupid? Who cares! Someone rightly said "It doesn't take too much to tickle my rib!

Book Iam currently Reading:The Argumentative Indian by Amartya Sen
Music Iam currently playing on my comp: Yesterday - Beatles.Lovely song, gloomy lyrics though.

Forced to CHICKEN out

2006-02-19T18:06:00.000+05:30

Another dismal, spine-chilling story on the front-page to jolt me out of my reverie in a sleepy morning class. I stared in horror at what I read. The article ruthlessly screamed out: Chief secretary R M Premkumar ordered eight lakh chickens within the taluka to be slaughtered in the next 48 hours! The article goes on to lament the fact bird flu has hit Maharashtra, which is what's making our dear Mr.Premkumar a.k.a self-proclaimed Yamadev revel in a dance of death by ordering the mass slaughter that he has. At the risk of diluting the seriousness of the issue, I must say: On a lighter note, it's weird how the govt officials made a funny fool of themselves. Just as Mr.Premkumar ordered that 2 lakh chickens should be slaughtered to combat the disease, State health secretary Dr Vijay Satbir Singh said the district administration had been instructed to close all slaughter houses in Nawapur and the surrounding areas to combat the disease! :) It happens only in India!

Well,well,well, let us dig in a lil more into the chicken-y facts.Bird flu is, no doubt a deadly viral epidemic caused by the H5N1 avian influenza virus.As reported here, these influenza viruses occur naturally among birds. Wild birds worldwide carry the viruses in their intestines, but usually do not get sick from them. However, avian influenza is very contagious among birds and can make some domesticated birds, including chickens, ducks, and turkeys, very sick and kill them.

Let us see what warrants a mass-slaughter.It is true that, of the few avian influenza viruses that have crossed the species barrier to infect humans, H5N1 has caused the largest number of detected cases of severe disease and death in humans. It is also true that, in the current outbreaks in Asia and Europe, more than half of those infected with the virus have died. In fact, if H5N1 virus were to gain the capacity to spread easily from person to person, an influenza pandemic (worldwide outbreak of disease) could begin. Accepted.HOWEVER, I now wish to draw a close parallel, replacing poultry with humans. The HIV virus that causes the incurable AIDS disease spreads only through infected-blood tranfusion and/or sexual contact. Bird flu spreads to humans only through close contact with infected animals and/or surfaces contaminated by their saliva/faeces. AIDS too, if left unchecked, could become a pandemic. Both these diseases are fatal. Both are currently incurable. AIDS has constantly been claiming thousands of lives, while this particular outbreak of bird flu has claimed ONE life so far. What then, justifies the meting out of mass-slaughter to as many as 2 lakh chickens, most of which might not even be infected yet? Why don't we slaughter AIDS_affected humans as well? Aren't they equally dangerous? What right do we, who weren't responsible for the creation of life, have, to take away lives? What was done to plague victims/smallpox victims when there were no vaccines for these diseases? Weren't they all just quarantined and kept at a safe distance to prevent the burgeoning of the epidemic into a pandemic? Why then, can't these chicken be quarantined too, if they are found to be affected?

There's so much hue and cry about euthanasia. Even when people want to die, we force them to hang on for dear life; even when chickens want to hang on for dear life, we force them to chicken out of life! Strange indeed are the murky ways of our perky world.

Chat of the day

2006-02-17T22:05:00.000+05:30

A jobless evening had begun to make me don a cynical garb and believe that the earth had indeed grown depleted of "men of substance" and was getting rapidly populated instead with superficial, materialistic, boring guys devoid of sticking to strong values. Just as my friends n I got together in a female-chauvinistic mood for a cup of late-night Maggi and groaned and moaned about how remaining a spinster for life was any day a better deal given the scandalizing quality of the members of the other species that we knew, I happened to talk to someone from this aparently-abhorable species n he served me some chicken soup for the soul.Long time since I had some, n I must say, yummmm it was delicious!

He (4:07:34 AM): so listen
Me (4:07:37 AM): sure
He (4:08:07 AM): My source of inspiration for what I am, what I believe and what my values are, has been my father
Me (4:08:21 AM): hmmm
He (4:08:31 AM): Who is no more but lives in the ideals I live by
He (4:09:10 AM): He used to quote a few things when i was young
Me (4:09:18 AM): oops sorry...quotes like?
He (4:09:28 AM): And I began to appreciate what he said better as I grew up
He (4:09:46 AM): One of his favorite authors was Bertrand Russell
Me (4:09:52 AM): okay
He (4:10:52 AM): So quoting my father quoting Bertrand Russell,," The four vital characteristics of a man are vitality, courage, sensitiveness and last but not the least intelligence"
He (4:10:58 AM): in that order
He (4:11:09 AM): Let me explain
Me (4:11:13 AM): hmmmm
He (4:11:20 AM): Vitality is all about
He (4:11:43 AM): the zeal to live....no matter what age, what situation, what background
Me (4:12:22 AM): hmmm
He (4:12:52 AM): vitality is when, there is a baby trying to reach the moon...it is there is a 90 year old grandmom who hugs her grandchildren with all tender and affection
He (4:13:09 AM): The moment you lose vitality, you are better dead than living
He (4:13:20 AM): next is courage
He (4:13:26 AM): This is not bravado
He (4:13:38 AM): but the courage to face truth
He (4:13:44 AM): courage to speak truth
He (4:13:55 AM): courage to live by your convictions
Me (4:13:56 AM): hmmmm
He (4:14:03 AM): courage to say sorry
Me (4:14:06 AM): trust me, not many men can say sorry even if they feel they’re wrong. Ego does reign supreme among members of your species!
He (4:14:16 AM): courage to be humble
He (4:14:41 AM): the real courage that ultimately matters
He (4:14:49 AM): Third thing is sensitiveness
Me (4:14:51 AM): Oh man! These r some of the best words that've hit me in a long time. Im saving this conversation as a big time treasure
He (4:15:04 AM): Man is a social animal
He (4:15:15 AM): He lives in a society, in a family...he is not an island
He (4:15:44 AM): Being sensitive to each other is key to leading a good life
He (4:16:48 AM): Last but not the least, it is intelligence that marks humans as distinct for what they are
He (4:17:05 AM): true
He (4:17:55 AM): And I dont know why but this quote has stuck as the basis of what I am and what I think
Me (4:18:04 AM): good that it has! it has made such a fine gentleman out of you ...
He (4:18:18 AM): And hence if I may say...they are by default my parameters of defining "goodness"

At the end of it all, 2 visitors tried knocking on my door again:
(1) Cynicism ---- !?!Who?When?What?Where? Get out before I shut the door on your face.
(2)"No good men around" ---- Shut up! There definitely ARE delicious strawberries hidden in the heap of rotten tomatoes.Take the trouble to spot the tiny n obscure but truly yummy ones!

Javed Akhtar beware!

2006-02-15T18:12:00.000+05:30

Sunehri yaadon ki galiyon mein
aaj phir se tehelke aaye,
jisko dekhkar yeh dil dhadaktha tha
aaj us dhadkan se milke aaye.

un khuli zulfon mein khelti hui hawaaiyen
hamaare chehre ko savarthi gayee,
pyaar se pehli mulaqaat thi woh
jab hum aapki aankhon mein kaidh ho gaye

Un aankhon ki wohi sharaarat
Is dil mein aaj bhi lehren jagaa rahi hain
Saal guzar gaye, hum badal gaye
Aapki adaa aur meri aashiqui waisi hi reh gayee

Roke na ruke yeh kadam
Aapki taraf chal pade,
Saalon guzar gaye aapko dekhe hue
Ishq ki galiyon mein aaj dobaara mitne chalen

Aapki aur bhadthe hue har kadam pe
Woh saare haseen pal jhalakne lage
Jab hum dil ki baat sunaane aate the
aur aapki baaton mein, sab bhool jaate the

sau baar mile, hazaaron baatein ki
par dil mein jo baat thi, woh izhaar kar na sake
apni is dastaan ki kitaab tho likh di
par kai panne, dil mein hi chupaa liye

un panno ko kholne ka aaj mauka tha
phir bhi hum khamosh rahe
chup chupke pyar karne ka mazaa hi kuch aur hain
shaayad hum is maze mein hi mit jaayenge

Sunehri yaadon ki galiyon mein
aaj phir se tehelke aaye

Ah!Anand Bakshi must've turned in his grave ... No no!I don't claim credit for what you just read.It isn't mine.This beautiful piece was written n sent on Valentine's day by one of my friends - Raghu, who's a very talented poet.He's sure to give the likes of Javed Akhtar a run for their money very soon.Go Raghu, go.You rock!

Quote for the day: Every man's memory is his private literature. ~Aldous Huxley
Book Iam currently reading: The Bridge Across Forever by Richard Bach

Warring against mush

2006-01-07T05:56:00.000+05:30

I don't know if it's the Valentines' day effect but I seem to be bumping into way too much mush-related read on the web of late.No matter how disinterested Iam in some stupid day ear-marked for lovers to celebrate,which anyway bears no relevance to me, Cupid seems too determined to thrust his cloyingly heart-piercing content at me every time I hit a site for some general read or every time I watch a movie or listen to a song or even look around myself!Has the world run out of themes???Have people lost their minds so much that love becomes their be-all n end-all???Bah!I've lent as patient a ear as I could n as hard a shoulder as I could to all those love-breakup-love-breakup stories of my friends n I finally do need a break, lest I stop believeing in love, once n for all! But no!Luck seems to have other plans for me, like these for example...

First there was that brilliant play in college that I was harping about some time back that left most audience's eyes misty n all.Then there was this moving'riches to rags' story reported in Mumbai Mirror some time back, about Rusi, a Paki cricket stud of yesteryears, who went from love to depression to beggary!Sad quirk of fate for the poor guy.Feel really sorry for him n all that but what the hell!He's obviously responsible for his current state.Who asked him to lose his heart to a ditcher who'd care a damn about his depression or beggary!?!Anyways, thought I'd go catch a good movie. Watched 15 Park Avenue. Good movie alright but there came the same old sob story of Meethi turning insane oer a lost love.The next Thursday(my weekly off here), I woke up unusualy early unlike the sleep-till-12-noon holiday schedule.I woke up with a sword in hand, that was kept ready to mercilessly severe off any minute speck of mush,that should dare to show up again in front of me that day, in whatever form.Then started this lil Joan of Arc's expedition: Off marched the no-mush soldier's small frame with the sword firmly in place, to the Crossword bookstore in Shoppers' Stop.Sonia Faleiro was a blogger I met at last time's Mumbai Bloggers' meet and I wanted to check out her debut novel at the Crossword book store.I plonked myself on a couch there n started devouring 'The Girl'.Completed it in about two hours.It's very well written alright but at the end of it, the mighty Joan of Arc's sword lay shattered in pieces...for there it was again!'The Girl' was generously soaked in mush too.Cupid, I give up.Warring against mush is pointless!I'd rather condition myself to make a U-turn n say "Gimme more.Ye dil maange more"!Sigh :(

Quote for the day: "A youth with his first cigar makes himself sick; a youth with his first girl makes other people sick."
Mary Wilson Little

Mundane update

2006-01-07T05:35:00.000+05:30

A lot of things have happened since I last updated this space.Some very good, some stressfully torturous.Aah!So typical of a B-school life.I've always believed even the best elastic snaps.Even the strongest person falters after a certain humanly bearable limit, when stretched too much.However, the opinion's slightly changing now...I do believe this insane pace at which my B-school life is putting me through ups and downs will indeed make me an infinitely stretchable elastic by the time Iam ouuta here!

Each of the nice things that've happened deserve a post here but I haven't the time to spare to write about em in as much detail as I want to.So here goes a fleeting mention:

--Attended Pandit Vishwa Mohan Bhatt's veena concert.That man is Gaaaaaaaaaaaaawd!Mesmerizing music left me pining for more at the end of the concert.Being an ardent Veena player, I was pretty disappointed about not being able to get my Veena here for logistical reasons.This concert took me back to those good old 7-8 years when music was so much a part of my everyday life.Oh!the kinda effect that one hour of solid practice everyday used to have on me: Razor-sharp concentration, a balanced mind, a decent degree of mastery over the art n last but not the least, loadsa attention n media glare.Sometimes I so so so feel like chucking this B-school thingy n return to a life that was less stressful, a life that was a lot more laid back thus giving me enough time to pursue my zillion interests.Some treasured things that you want to cling on to forever, turn out to be so temporary... Sigh!I can't wait to get back home n start all over again.

--Won the second place for our business plan in the Tata Business Leadership Awards - a pretty prestigious one in B-school circles.The downside:Only the winner gets to go for the national finals :( Damn!There's so much of a gap between the cup and the lip.

--Attended a classical dance concert performed by my friend's troupe form Bangalore.The formations left such vivid stamps on my memory that I can sit down sometime and actually sketch them out!

--Watched a play put up by my batch.Very impressive cast, my roomie being the super star lead lady.The whole play was such an impeccable execution.This one shall definitely be written about very soon.The theme's a serious one, pretty much related to the ideas I had voiced in my earlier posts about the closed Indian mind.This one's a different hue of the closed Indian mind though. The play's quite tragic.More on it hopefully sometime soon.

Book Iam currently reading:Damn!Iam still stuck with Prisoner's Dilemma
Song that's currently playing:Dil mera churaaya kyu jab ye dil todna hi tha...
Situation:Assignment due in 2 hours, test in 2 hours,I don't know a thing n Im blogging away to glory!Talk of priorities...cha!Y do I end up giving the wrong priorities to the wrong things,the wrong people and the wrong tasks.B-school...heeelp!teach me how to get these priorities right before I get outa here!

I asked Him

2005-12-31T03:58:00.000+05:30

I asked for strength and God gave me difficulties to face,
I asked for wisdom and God gave me problems to solve,
I asked for prosperity and God gave me brawn and brain to work with,
I asked for trust and God gave me conscienceless backstabbers to deal with,

I asked for courage and God gave me danger to overcome,
I asked for love and God gave me troubled people to help,
I asked for favours and God gave me opportunities to explore,
I asked for faith in myself and God gave me the lowest phases of my life to overcome,

I asked for humility and God gave me showers of praise to accept with a level head,
I asked for best friends and God gave me just myself to talk to,
I asked for security and God gave me the biggest insecurities to harden to,
I asked for compassion and God gave me inhuman jerks to forgive,

I asked for knowledge and God gave me profound souls to learn from,
I asked for liberation and God gave me a wonderful life to live n make a difference!

I received nothing I wanted, but got everything I needed,
My prayers have been answered.

Shutter-flutter

2005-12-24T02:31:00.000+05:30

Having bought a new Canon A400 digicam, I've been learning a wee bit of photography.I hardly know the intricacies in the field...It's a highly fascinating hobby nevertheless. Mine isn't a high end cam either and it's extremely touch-sensitive, giving me hazy pics all the time :( I made a modest attempt at putting up even these dirty, shaken snaps on a new photoblog that I've started, spent hours together trying to tweak the template on blogger and ended up in this mess: My photoblog. Bah! I want a better cam,a better template,a drag-n-drop tool to build templates on blogger and better photography skills.Sigh!If only wishes had wings...

Outsourcing plagues a new field - Education!

2005-12-22T02:50:00.000+05:30

Keen students with an insatiable thirst for knowledge, stepping out of the cosy comforts of their homes and pursuing academic as well as non-academic learning under the aegis of a dedicated guru is a thing of the past.Today, education is all about a lot of fierce competition, a lot of cramming, a lot of time crunch and yes!a lot of vitamin M. Teachers' time is sold for a price, study material - books,CDs,casettes etc are sold for a price.On a scandalous note,so are technical degree projects, marks cards, degree certificates,and even jobs!Commoditization of education has reached dizzying new heights.Nothing in the field of education seems to be beyond the reach of the long hands of the moolah power.

At the risk of sounding outdated, it would be worthwhile to quote this article published in Times of India about a month back.Curbing the practice of outsourcing home-works and projects may affect the lives of a zillion Preeti Shah's in India,who earn their living through outsourced home-works. However, the hazardous effects of leaving this practice unchecked are spine chilling:
First, the rich kids will hog an unfair advantage since they can 'buy' more and more quality education aids like Preeti Shah and use this to unfairly beat the genuinely brighter but unfortunately poorer kids in class, who might not be able to afford an impostor for their projects.
Second,India shall soon be churning out millions of hollow-headed so-called 'graduates','degree holders' or whatever it is that the system might fancy calling them.

Cramming in schools and homes coupled with the insane pressure on a a kid to keep pace with the furious rate at which information overflow is occuring all around us,is the biggest culprit that promotes such commoditization of education.Unless parents as well as teachers are sensitized adequately to the trade-offs involved in heavily pressurizing students to excel, this heinous practice of outsourcing shall continue to walk the streets of education with its ugly head held high; the 30-year old impostor's mind shall continue to compete against and triumph over that of a 12-year old, depriving some other deserving 12-year old of his due credit. This, in the long run,could kill the deserving kid's self-morale that eggs him onto learning and achieving more in life.If you were to be in the kid's place, would you like to look forward to a zombie-like future like that? If you answered "No", do your bit to weed out the Preeti Shah's before the menace spreads enough to make your child a zombie.

Thought for the day: The day is not far off when MasterCard's punchline "There are some things that money can't buy; for everything else there's MasterCard" will read "There's nothing that money can't buy.For everything, there's MasterCard"!

Re-opened :)

2005-12-15T03:08:00.000+05:30

What happens when you get a nauseating overdose of the big bad world all at once...when the dose is packed into a mighty powerful explosive n hurled at you, all in one powerful blow?

That's when
Even a sage experiences the fiercest rage,
Even the staunchest theist becomes an atheist,
Even the best elastic snaps...

I shudder to think of the loads of irreversibly damaging things that one sad crazy moment could make you do.It could:

* Get even a teetotaller drunk to chase away those blues.
* Get you to stab your dearest one to death with the deadliest acerbic words.
* Get a weakling to take his/her life.
* Drive you insane enough to take someone else's life.

Iam glad,it made me do none of these.All that it made me do was close my blog :)

Nausea passed.Blog re-opened :) Waiting for the next such blow.I shall smash it into smithereens before it realizes what hit it!

Thought for the day:A hunter tried to hunt down and butcher a dog.It wasn't the size of the dog in the fight but the size of the fight in the dog that saw it through the bloody fight.

~~Me

Bbye

2005-12-12T08:26:00.000+05:30

This blog has been shut down, hopefully temporarily.

Crisp and thought-provoking statement, ma'am

2005-12-06T11:38:00.000+05:30

My negotiation skills prof ended her last session with the words "I leave you with these words: In life, you do not get what you deserve.You ONLY get what you negotiate for" and the class burst into a thunderous applause.Iam still in awe of the profoundness of this blatant truth!Hope I very soon swim out of the maelstrom of ideas that this statement has sucked me into, for I've got a costing exam in 15 mins!Sigh...

Quote for the day:None.Ma'am's quote rocked!

4 days of living a dream I've wanted to live

2005-12-04T13:53:00.000+05:30

A welcome break, a sweet victory, a sense of awe - that pretty much sums up the 4 days of the pilgrimage that Iam about to describe.12 of us set out from Mumbai to take part in one of the biggest festival melas that draws a huge crowd year after year, from all parts of India and aboroad.I spent the night of 24th Nov,2005 on a wonderfully entertaining train journey which witnessed even me,the Goddess of deep slumber, sleep for just two hours in all.After alighting at the station, we were very warmly received by our hosts,Sappy and Sunny who had come all the way from the temple to the railway station at 5am just to welcome us!A smooth ride on this chill morning through some of the best Indian roads I've seen, took us to our destination.One look at the marvel and we immediately understood why it was called an architectural wonder!What lay before us were huge lawns, carpetting an extremely vast expanse of land on which several well-spaced brick-finish blocks were carefully stacked like Lego building blocks.Following Sunny through what seemed to me like an interesting cave-like structure, we arrived at another huge lawn, which made me wonder whether this was laid out with an intention of turning it into a cricket or a football stadium some day!Some of us in the pack of 12, were so awe-struck at the sight of such beautiful architecture and landscaping that we clicked as many as 600 snaps in all, of this marvellous wonder! After completing our check-in formalities, we were ushered into our lodging rooms.Although seven of us were herded into a room meant for one, not once did we feel the discomfort during our entire stay there because we never really got to spend more than 2-3 hours a day, sleeping in the small crammed room.

The mela then began in full swing, with a zillion interesting events packed into every hour of the day.Every single hour of sleep we skipped was worth it.Even though we spent no more than 2 hours sleeping on each of those 3-4 nights, every moment was truly worth it. While some of these events tickled one's grey cells a lot, some others were studded with the most distinguished speakers dishing out immensely insightful and inspirational talks to the swarming crowd that had thronged the place.My team won the third prize in one such event and I very narrowly missed a victory in another :( An Australian team breezed their way to the first place, while the host team stood second.The mela hogged a lot of media attention as well and I, along with two of my friends were on air on NDTV for a while :) The mela also included a traditional Dandiya night.It was a pretty sight to watch even the foreigners donning traidtional Indian ghagra cholis, learning Dandiya steps from the home crowd and dancing away to glory.We were so smitten by the place, the crowd, the food - just about every thing, that we bunked some of the talks scheduled on our last day there and went around the huge premises clicking snaps instead!The inmates of this place, that deserves all the reverence it invokes in me for a lot of reasons, were a rare combination of smart+witty+down-to-earth: the kind of company I've been craving for ever since I left home.

Now let me stop beating around the bush and try being a little less cryptic.The TEMPLE in question is IIMA, the PILGRIMAGE is our recent trip to IIMA, the MELA is IIMA's fest 'Confluence',the distinguished speakers included Mr.Chandrababu Naidu,Mr.Mukesh Ambani,Mr.Vijay Mallya,Mr.Santosh Desai with his interesting ad-workshop and many more.

The first thing I had noticed at the station where Sappy was there to welcome us, was this line written on their batch T-shirt "IIMA - Don't you wish you were here?".Ahem ahem...If only dreams and wishes were horses that were gifted with wings Sappy, I'd've been your classmate now!Iam happy that I got to live a long-time dream, atleast for 4 fleeting days.Thanks so much for everthing.It's now time to return from dreamland back to a world where reality bites and I pray that March 2007 comes by asap.Amen!

Modest?Stupid?I know better

2005-11-21T12:22:00.000+05:30

Yipppeee!The post that I had posted here won the first place at the IIMI blogging contest.Bharani from ISB and Ravi from IIMA came in joint first.When some people at SP heard about it and asked me why I hadn't mailed to tell everyone about it, an interesting conversation followed:

He:What the hell!?! You win stuff and don't even bother letting us all know?
Me:hehe naaah it was nothing much. Iam just clinging on to the vestiges of modesty left in an MBA grad you see.
He:This is stupidity, not modesty.
Me:Oh really!?!ok, you're free to think so.
He:What else have you been winning that we don't know of?
Me:Now that you've asked me,yeah!every single paper that I have worked on till date, has made it atleast to the final shortlists of the respective contests.
He:Hmmm and you haven't been telling us about any of these like the others do?You know,there's a psychological interpretation to what you're doing.You don't share good news with people around you means that you do not have close friends amongst the people around you.
Me:Hmmm Ok,you're free to think what you want to.
He:Whew!I give up!

It is sometimes scary to think of how fiercely independent,life at SP is making me.I love it this way though.

Quote for the day:It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.
~~Miss Manners
>>It doesn't make a big difference even if they never discover it, as long as you have discovered it.
~~Me

Are blogs an alternative for conventional media?

2005-11-05T17:08:00.000+05:30

Shocked by the unusual length of the post on my blog? So am I :) Well, this post is an article written specifically for the Bloggers Park contest, IRIS, IIM Indore, the topic being "Are blogs an alternative for conventional media?". I, for one, love the way their website has been designed and oh yeah! The new button that appears on my blog is that of the IRIS blog. Do check it out.

In today’s ‘IT era' as it is called, there has been a palpable flurry of activity on the cyber front. This has ensured that the action in this field hogs a fair share of the media glare. News headlines splashed with news such as IT-giants’ mergers, release of new IT-related products, stock prices of IT companies plunging or soaring etc are on the rise. One notable trend that is slowly but surely rocketing in step with this burgeoning growth of IT, is the trend of blogging. Delving deeper into this trend reveals a number of interesting facts, some of which bolster the claim that blogs can indeed be a potential alternative for conventional media and some others which trash the claim. However, before we examine the facts in greater detail, it would be appropriate to take a quick peek at conventional media per se.

For the scope of this post, conventional media may broadly be classified into two categories: (1) Mass media such as radio, television, print media etc. which are meant to target the masses (2) Other conventional media such as telephone, snail mail, public address systems, pamphlets etc. which are meant to target a specific person or a select group of people. How do the purposes that a blog serves, score vis-à-vis conventional media? Consider the main purposes that conventional media serves: They inform, entertain and act as a means to promote products, services, events, people or places through advertising.

Let us see how blogs fare in comparison:
(1) The purpose of informing: Most socially, politically or economically relevant issues, receive extensive coverage, threadbare analysis and exchange of opinion by fellow-bloggers in the blogsphere, thereby keeping their readers well-informed just like conventional media does.
(2) The purpose of entertaining: Many bloggers maintain blogs that are purely entertaining or humorous. Scott Adams of the Dilbert fame has one such blog.
Some blogs entertain not just by using the written word, comic strips and word games as it happens in the print media, but also by way of providing hyperlinks to some entertaining audio and video strips available on other websites.
(3) The purpose of marketing: Online advertising is picking up speed in India. The total spending for 2004-2005 was about 18 million dollars, but the Indian Online Association (IOA), predicts that this figure will touch 34 million dollars in the next financial year and will cross 57 million in 2006-2007. More on this trend here.Publishers, for instance, have begun to resort to bloggers to write reviews about books that they want to market. They bank on the fact that a prospective buyer often goes by the reviews posted by a credible blogger whose judgement they trust to be good.

Blogs not just match up to, but far surpass the conventional media in the following aspects:
Meteoric growth: The rate at which millions of new blogs are springing up and smothering the World Wide Web is mind boggling. If the growth trends and statistics released by clickz.com of Jupitermedia fame are anything to go by, there are as many as 15,000 new blogs being created everyday i.e 1 new weblog is being created every 5.8 seconds. No conventional media in India has been experiencing such a phenomenal growth rate in the past few years.

The biggies are into it: IT giants such as Microsoft with MSN Spaces, Rediff with Rediffblogs, Google with its take over of Blogger and Six Apart with its relatively recent acquisition of Live Journal are investing big bucks and vying with one another to host blogs. Blogging is serious business for the biggies now. New tools tailored to suit their use in blogs are being developed – RSS feeds, ATOM feeds, hit counters, blogrolls to mention a few.

Popularity check: Weblogs have become quite popular on the international scene in the last 12 months. Om Malik , senior writer at Business 2.0 magazine, reports that about 27% of internet users say they read blogs.

Communities and crisis aids: Blogs help people with similar interests, exchange ideas and form interest groups. There are also a number of groups that are formed on the fly in times of crisis. Dina Mehta was one such lady who shot into fame during the recent Tsunami and Katrina cyclone crises, thanks to the initiative she took, to set up blog groups in order to help victims communicate and mobilize essential resources to the affected areas.

They tell it as it is: In case of Indian conventional media, free and blatant journalism often falls prey to dirty politics. The denouement of this public secret is that journalists are often forced to present a slightly twisted version of the truth. However, in case of blogging, the blogger can tell it as it is, since a blog, reflects after all, a person’s personal account/opinion of a reported event. Moreover, unlike a journalist, a blogger faces no issues of complying with editorial policies, space constraints etc.

As seen from the above discussion, blogs not only serve most of the purposes that conventional media do, but also serve a plethora of other purposes that conventional media do not. Although these facts paint a very promising picture of blogging soon being used as an alternative for conventional media, it is essential to examine in detail, the other side of the coin before conclusively settling the claim.

Let us now look into a few facts on the other side of the coin, that trash the claim that blogging can be an alternative for conventional media in the Indian scenario:
Current Penetration: Blogging, although a boon for the urban literati, is way out of reach of those without electricity, PCs or the ability to read and write (mostly in English); they will therefore continue to depend for many years to come on the radio, TV and newspapers - in that order. As seen from the dismal statistics reported by the 2001 census of India, PC penetration in India is less than 1%. The number of internet users is a more disappointing 5.5 million out of a total population of 1.06 billion. The percentage version of this figure is best left uncalculated! TV, which had penetrated as many as 85.1 million households in India in 2003, still remains far ahead in terms of penetration as seen from this report. There are innumerable situations like, say election campaign speeches, where blogs as a substitute for conventional media are absolutely absurd and impractical.
The Indian scenario is thus diametrically opposite to that in USA where blogging is a rage, thanks to great penetration levels of the internet.
Projected reach: It was reported recently, that as per the Broadband Policy issued by the Government in October 2004, a target subscribers' base of 3 million for Broadband was to be achieved by all the service providers together by the end of year 2005. As per the progress reports submitted by the various service providers, a subscribers’ base of just 0.61 million for Broadband has been achieved by the end of September 2005. Hence, the actual achievement by various operators together is much below the policy target of 3.0 million for December, 2005, which is likely to be missed.

Limited interaction: Unlike in a TV or radio show where you can have dial-in programs or shows with an invited set of audience, the interaction between the blogger and the visitor in a blog is limited to just the ‘comments’ section. Live interaction is not possible and this greatly mitigates the effectiveness of the interaction.

Legal aspects: There are legally recognized bodies such as Press Council of India, Ministry of Information and Broadcasting etc which are accountable for the ethical operation and content published in the print media or telecasted on TV and Radio. There is no such legal body that is completely accountable for the content that a blogger publishes in his blog. Such expressions of one’s personal opinion could have serious implications such as defamation of people due to personal vengeance, rumour mills that churn out erroneous information on burning issues, misleading the masses etc. If a defamatory post is written against a person or an institution, this post will do the rounds through chain emails and the damage caused is too vast.

Clipped freedom of expression: The recent incident that saw Gaurav Sabnis and IIPM cudgeling it out, harshly rocked the Indian blogsphere. Another case similar to that of Gaurav Sabnis is that of Mediaah, wherein Pradyuman Maheswari was forced to close shop due to a messy tussle involving the Time Group and Bennett Coleman & Co. Cases like the two mentioned above pose a big question mark over freedom of expression in blogs.

Unmanageable numbers: When a new radio or TV channel is floated, there is considerable enthusiasm during the launch. In contrast, a new blog that is floated is just one amongst million others and hardly evokes any enthusiasm about its launch unless the blogger is either a celebrity or has publicized his blog well before the launch. Infact, the sheer number of blogs plays spoilsport even much after the launch phase. It is relatively easier for a viewer to sift through about 100 odd channels and pick a few that he likes. Expecting a reader to sift through millions of blogs and pick a few that he likes would be ridiculous! There is a good chance that an excellent blog may never be visited by an interested surfer.

Establishing credibility: A new blogger will have to establish, through consistently good posts that it’s a credible source of information whereas unless main stream media mucks up something big time, it is generally taken to be reliable.

Serious bloggers: Serious bloggers who update their blogs frequently are not too many in number. As per this report quoted earlier in this post, there are only 200 blogs with a monthly traffic of 1 million pageviews per month. Only 20 of those receive over 10 million pageviews per month.

The menace of personal journals: Online diarists who maintain a journal of personal experiences and memories are on the rise. Many of them often describe it as an easier alternative than email and telephone to keep in touch with their loved ones when they are facing a time crunch. Strctly speaking, these do not qualify as blogs as has been rightly analyzed here. Such personal journals which sadly pass by the name of ‘blogs’ dilute the interest of blog surfers who come looking for interesting stuff, only to bump into the details of someone’s mundane daily routine or threadbare descriptions of events in one’s personal life.

Spamming and Virus threats: There are many fake blogs setup by robots, which affect the blog visitors’ computers with viruses as soon as the blog is accessed. Such robots are even used to insert spam comments into blogs. The latter problem, however, has been successfully tackled by developing the word verification system to authenticate human users before commenting.

Summarizing the above discussion, it can be concluded that although blogs do match up to the main stream media to some extent in terms of the basic functionality, they remain crippled by many factors detailed above. Blogging undoubtedly, is still at its infancy in India. It needs to mature and be more regulated before it can be considered as an alternative, or even as a formidable competitor to the conventional media, particularly the print media. As pointed out rightly in this discussion, given the current scenario and rate of progress that prevails in India, it would be too tall an order to expect blogging to be an alternative for conventional media. As long as illiteracy and poverty reign the scene, blogging can, at best, be an effective supplement but not really an alternative for conventional media.

Oooooooh...Iam totally floored

2005-10-21T01:46:00.000+05:30

Like the subject says,

"Yeah!Iam totally, undoubtedly, completely floored.Iam highly impressed and absolutely stumped...yeah in short,that's clean bowled.Blame this charmer of a man!He's adorable,admirable,respectable,damn smart and extremely witty.I've never been this fanatic about anyone, ever before.Never ever"

Well, after a slightly-exaggerated version of my fanaticism, here go his vital stats:

Height:About 5'7"
Smartness quotient:200 out of 100.
Wit levels:The highest I've ever come across.
Humour:Full of intelligent wisecracks that'll have everyone around, in splits.
Affableness:Absolutely no airs about himself; extremely down-to-earth; very, very friendly.
Education:BE (Chemical) + MBA from IIMA.
Occupation:Has been a consultant, a quiz master, a writer, a commentator and a producer!
Achievements:Too many to pen.
Passion:Cricket.

Age: About 45! :(
Name:Harsha Bhogle :)

15th October saw SPJIMR hosting the West Zone Finals of Acumen 2005 - the inter B-school debate and quiz contest.Being a member of the PR Committee, sweating in a black blazer on a hot sunny day, I waited at the gate for a good hour and a half to receive our guest of honour for the day - the host for Acumen 2005.The wait was made bearable,thanks to his pretty secretary who was a non-stop chatterbox herself.The man himself - Mr.Harsha Bhogle - my long-time idol, showed up after exchanging a zillion calls with his secretary (the zillion calls are quite understandable when you have such a pretty woman for a secretary :) ).Just as I was getting all jittery and eager to ensure impeccable welcome formalities, he alighted from his car. I said my hellos,shook hands and offered to lug some of his kit bags. He just flashed a warm ear-to-ear smile that put me instantly at ease.We walked into a classroom where he freshened up for the show.

To cut short the rest of the story,I got to tag around with him all day,chit-chat with him,watch him mug up his lines,watch him rehearse,host the 8-hour-long events with unbelievable ease and no drop in energy levels,gel unbelievably well on-screen with a co-compere whom he was meeting for the first time on stage(!),deliver a whole lot of hilarious off-the-cuff remarks on stage etc.

The best part, though, was that I got loads of snaps with him,got an autograph of my super-star on my T-shirt,got him to take time off for a one-on-one interview with me even though he had a flight in 45 minutes!Whew!it was one of my very best days at SP.Iam now too overwhelmed with admiration and awe, to write in detail about the 'mind Bhogling' conversations I had with him and about how impressive it was to unveil a man with strongly-etched values concealed behind a veil of light, rib-splitting-humour.Iam glad I shared a few of those gems from the golden guy with my folks back home.They were all-ears and all-happy to know I was finally floored but a tad too unhappy to know who it was who had floored me flat :)

Quote for the day:"If life were measured by accomplishments, most of us would die in infancy." A. P. Gouthey

Of what they said n what I learned

2005-10-15T03:10:00.000+05:30

It's quite amazing, and maybe quite amusing too, to notice the stark contrast between the maxims that were "taught" or "imparted" to us and the maxims that we actually learn for ourselves,based on what we see in the world around us.That's when a process of confusion,questioning,unlearning and learning sets in.

My musings on this contrast centred around what I observed in my workplace and current college, and I spotted a number of new maxims waiting to replace or dilute the older ones that I clung to.A few of these replacements were easy to accept, since they bore no relevance to me. However, it was pretty unsettling to accept a few others, because they pose a serious trade-off between adherence to values and being diplomatic enough to survive.

What they said: Distance makes the heart grow fonder.
What I say: Nay, distance just makes one's heart wander!

What they said: Modesty and humility will take you far in life.
What I say: Generally true but in the corporate world,modesty and humility don't get you one-tenth as far as your hollow-headed braggart colleague.

What they said: A diamond is a woman's best friend.
What I say: Too many vices vie with the diamond.

What they said: A woman's heart is an ocean of secrets.
What I say: A man's heart is no better.

What they said: A girl needs a confidante apart from her family.
What I say: I've never felt the need till date.

What they said: If you judge people, you have no time to love them.
What I say: If you love people, you'll never want to judge them.

What they said: Serenity is when there's no storm.
What I say: Serenity isn't freedom from the storm, but peace within the storm.

My struggle with Hindi continues undaunted

2005-10-06T17:19:00.000+05:30

Hindi is one language that I absolutely love for its rich repertoire of expressive lingo and the melody that oozes out in its spoken form. However, there are a few seemingly complicated profound touches to it, so profound that my poor lil mind has never been able to grasp the hilt of it even after 5 torturous years of pursuing Hindi as my 3rd language :( Whether the profoundness of the language intricacy is to be blamed or my highly crippled mental capacities are to be blamed is another issue and is best left unspoken. For now, it just suffices to say "Despite those 5 torturous years when I had to bribe mom to do all my Hindi homework for me and another 2 years in office when I was forced to converse in Hindi or risk being outcasted, I fail to get the hang of ka, ki, ke ke prayog".

What I could never comprehend way back in school was:

- The difference between machli,makkhi and macchar! Even after humongous efforts at learning my words, I often used to answer "Use the following words in sentences of your own " pathetically like this:

Kal raat ek machli aake meri khoon peeke gaya.
Priya makkhi khaa raha hai.
Mujhe aam pasand hai aur macchar ko bhi pasand hai.

- Why it is "car aati hai" but "truck chala gaya".

- Why my Hindi ma'am used to find it so amusing to read out my answers to other teachers and have a hearty laugh with them.

What still beats me:

- When to use kaa, ki and ke - Gender ka koi logic hi nahi hai!(or is it Gender KI now...aaaargh neva mind)

- Why my wingie finds it so cute n pinches my cheeks when I say "Ab theek hoon.Meri bukaar chali gayi".

Whew!I'll NOW try n learn n talk a lot in chaste Hindi n stun my teacher flat.
Drat! How soon is NOW? That is the question.

Quote for the day:I am learning all the time. The tombstone will be my diploma.
~Eartha Kitt

Closed Indian mind - does it let you live for yourself? - Part II

2005-10-06T00:39:00.000+05:30

...continued from Part I

Finally my point: What’s factor X!?! Initially I thought it was an allusion to the kind of compulsion and pressure that our immediate society exerts on us, limiting the choices WE can exercise on OUR own lives. However, on deeper thought, Iam strongly convinced factor X is NOT that! It IS, on the other hand, a lack of self-confidence, a lack of mental strength of today’s Indian youth, to live life on their own terms, to decide for themselves and stick to it despite all odds. On one hand, the supposed hallmark of the Indian value system imbibed in most Indian youth right from their birth, screams out to them: “Don’t be selfish with your life. Live your life for the sake of others and not just for your own sake”. So they are tempted to let their immediate society pull the strings – moms dictate careers, dads dictate love-lives, friends dictate lifestyles, mothers in law dictate religious beliefs and even clothing! On the other hand, the influential breeze of western culture to which the youth are exposed through mass media and their friends’ circles, places a heavy accent on individualism and whispers to them “It’s YOUR life, the only one you’ve got. Live it the way YOU want it, not the way someone else wants you to live it”. Thanks to the two influences, a lot of directionless confused behaviour results and even passes off unnoticed, in the guise of the cleverly camouflaged term 'balanced individualism'. Balanced Individualism, as we may like to trumpet it, is by no means a positive sign. It is just a eunuch outcasted from the coterie of both class A people and class B people. Class A people are the highly individualistic class of people who want to make their own decisions, live their lives the way they want to, hold the reigns of their lives completely in their own hands and realize that just because parents, friends and relatives have showered them with love, it doesn’t mean that they can exercise undue influence in one's major decisions in life. Class B people on the other hand, are the ones for whom, keeping their near and dear ones satisfied, living by the society’s norms, swaying to the trends of the day in order to gain social acceptance, matter more than their own terms in life. It wouldn’t be wrong to say that the former class let their heart rule over their head, while the latter class of people do just the opposite. None of these classes, however, can be categorically stated to be superior to the other.

It is NOT wrong to be class A, it is NOT wrong to be class B either. After all, it is just about making a choice of which type one wants to be and being at peace with oneself about the choice one has made. However, the whole problem with most Indian youth is that they are so insecure, want so much of everything, need the eunuch called Balanced Individualism so much, that they neither firmly choose class A, nor firmly choose class B. If they ever do, they end up cribbing about losing out on either the social circle or on self-satisfaction as the case may be. The trend in India regarding the 2 classes, has been an interesting one too. The fairly orthodox Indians of the yester generations, were mostly of class B and the contemporary generation is of neither classes – it is in a transition phase, uncomfortably stuck between the two classes. It won’t be long before there is a huge shift and most of the Indian youth will be Class As. This latter transition will definitely be a welcome change and will be far more euphoric, not because class A is better but because there will atleast be a much-needed certainty in this critical decision of who controls one’s life to what extent.

I, for one, am surely interested in following the trend and checking out what difference it makes to the great Indian psyche.Maybe when it's finally a society filled with class A youth, a college student won't think twice about dropping out of a course he doesn't like and starting off a new enterprise...and maybe, there won't be anymore Vidya's and Meena's cribbing about we know what...and maybe,a die-hard travelling fan, much like today's foreign tourist, will just pack his bag and leave home one fine morning when he feels like travelling, with a few hundred bucks, a few pairs of clothes and nothing else - not even an idea of where his travel's gonna take him, return after a good travel and sit back n smile satisfactorily "Aah!THAT's what I wanted to do with my life" :)

Quote for the day:Ultimately, it isn't what choice you make that determines how happy you are.It's just how much you can be at peace with the consequences of your choice that really matters.

Closed Indian mind - does it let you live for yourself? - Part I

2005-10-04T22:00:00.000+05:30

My caveat cum recommendation to a cyber-wanderer who may inadvertently stumble upon this space of mine:Before you waste your time and energy and whatever else on this post and curse me for the rest of your life, please take a look at the head-line of my blog.Like I claim in the head-line, I post my insane ramblings on topics close to my heart, with no diplomacy, no polish, just straight from the gut!I don't write for someone else to read, I just write for myself ... simply because I absolutely love to write.This post's heavy on psychology and an extremely lengthy one too.So it's best avoided...

IMHO, Indian youth are a very highly confused lot and are growing increasingly so, thanks to what I will, for now call, factor X. Be it a career choice, a relationship with a member of the opposite sex, fashion trends, religious beliefs or something as simple as the next travel decision, dilemma has become the hallmark of many a young Indian soul.

Discuss a career choice with a 22 year old and this is most likely what you'll hear some 'dudes' and 'dudettes' say: "Well, it was my dream of a lifetime to be an interior designer and start a business of my own. However, my parents’ dream was to MAKE ME (eeeeks! I hate the expression) a doctor; all my friends were keen on being software engineers to make a quick buck; my grandfather just wanted me to stop studying and take over our family’s silk business. I was thoroughly confused and thought it was SAFER to just go with the crowd. So I ended up taking Computer Science Engineering". Whew! An interior design entrepreneur aspirant transforms one of the most major decisions of HIS life overnight, thanks to factor X.

I just happened to overhear some “bahu cribs about saas” episodes in my neighbourhood. I could hear the newly-wed Mrs.Vidya hush-hushing “I love wearing jeans. They are trendy and a lot more comfortable than sarees are. However, my mother-in-law is strictly against it. My husband cannot let me go ahead with it and disappoint his mother”. Her co-sister Meena chipped in “I understand, Vidya. Iam an atheist and have never visited a temple for as long as I can remember. Things have changed drastically after I’ve started living here though. I now have to spend atleast half an hour every morning performing what I personally believe are meaningless rituals. I even have to visit the temple every evening, no matter what I think about it”. Factor X at work again.

Another snippet from college where I heard my 24-year old classmate doing some sob-talk: “Both of us have been in love for the past 3 years. Iam more sure of this girl than I have been of myself over all these years. My parents find her reasonably good too. However, both our parents are against our marriage coz society’ll shun them if they consent to an inter-caste marriage. So I had to give up on her”. There’s factor X raising its ugly head. His friend, on the other hand, wails for a different reason “Iam used to a very simple lifestyle. Huge malls, clubs, parties, wine, discussing women, blowing money on golf, infact anything remotely aristocratic, is not to my liking at all. However, if I just stick to my interests of Indian Classical music, philosophical books, coding competitions, cricket and the like, I shall be reduced to a companionless nerd n people around me will scream “Go get a life you sucker!” So I’d rather tune myself to live their lifestyles than live the way I want to”.

...Continued in Part II

Good food and much more

2005-09-13T17:12:00.000+05:30

Churchgate has always held a special attraction for me, of all the zillion hangout areas in Mumbai.Blame this bias on the chugging local train footboard travel all the way to Churchgate with the wind ruffling my hair,the oh-so-enticing cruises to Elephanta caves that are launched form Gateway in Churchgate,feeding pigeons near the Gateway,bargaining on Fashion Street, Nariman Point with its breath-taking view of the Queen's necklace, and Flora Fountain - a reader's haven.Added recently to this list of Churchgate attractions is a small South Indian restaurant (called Shankar hotel if I remember right) that I hopped into, for lunch with my bro.

What do most restaurant owners do all day? Most that I know sit glued to the cash counter and collect bill payments all day,occasionally running a hand over their big fat pot bellies n chewing paan.The owner of the restaurant that we visited was way too different.His job began the moment a customer arrived at the door.He or the chief waiter would welcome the customer, exuding a lot of warmth (unlike the 5-star waitresses who floor you rather than welcome you in with their bewitching superficial smiles),lead him to an unoccupied table and occasionally pick up small talk with the customers too.Just as I sat myself comfortably at a table, I began murmuring to my bro - "This owner takes such pains to offer personalized services".Bro agreed but gave me a nasty look and said "Stop thinking in a products and services framework and get out of your MBA cap atleast when you're off campus".My trivial observations continued nevertheless and Iam glad they did.If all waiters happened to be busy, the owner himself would hand out menu cards to customers, often park himself at their table to make recommendations and help them place their orders.He was always seen walking around the place with menu cards in hand.He kept an eye on the door for new arrivals and saw to it that no customer had to wait longer than half a minute after arrival, before being attended to.While I was hogging some sumptous lunch, I observed another act of this owner - an act that I found totally weird but very pleasantly surprising.A group of 4 college guys arrived and there was no unoccupied table to seat them, except one which was yet to be cleaned of the mess that the previous customer had left behind.All cleaners were busy at the moment.Seeing this, the owner, without the slightest hesitation, dashed across to the table, picked up the used glasses himself instead of waiting for a busy cleaner to come by, headed straight to the sink and even started washing them!!!It's no big deal to raise a hue and cry about dignity of labour in the Indian society, point fingers and blame the system.It is however a big deal, to take individual onus like our man did and do what the moment demands one to do.It's no big deal to sit in an MBA class and study theories on how customer is the king.It is however a big deal to really crown the customer the king and make the customer really feel like one.

A few other impressive initiatives that this hero-in-my-eyes character took:
(1)Most of us use tissues left, right and centre after a lunch or a dinner.It wouldn't quite be wrong to blame this propensity of indiscriminate use of tissues, on the copious supply of tissues available from the tissue holder placed at the centre of every table.Our man who seemed to have embodied the 'Use less paper, don't cut trees' campaign.had no tissue holders placed on any of the tables.Instead, ONE tissue was provided per plate at the beginning of the meal. Extra tissues were available only on special demand.It was a smart move aimed at both cost cutting and saving trees.

(2)The owner had a great sense of social responsibility.He would visit each table when the customer was about to finish a meal and check what was wasted.He would then push the customer to finish off what was left.For instance, seeing the remaining curry on my plate at the end of our lunch, he said "I shall allow you to order HALF a plate of fried rice but please do order roti/fried rice and finish off the curry.I shall receive my money anyways but it's a national waste if you dont finish it"! Cheers to this member of a rare species of citizens who have a great sense of social responsibility!

Quote for the day: With the possible exception of the equator, everything begins somewhere.

MBA: My love-hate list

2005-09-02T01:37:00.000+05:30

I enjoyed doing this - listing out what I like and what I dont about the course Iam currently pursuing.The preferences presented are **PURELY ABOUT WHAT I HAVE EXPERIENCED IN THE COURSE SO FAR** and NOT about the institute that Iam currently studying in.

5 things I love about doin an MBA:

1. FUN!!!

2. The satisfaction of pursuing a dream despite all odds that I was up against.

3. The respect that it earns me.

4. The practical experiential learning that it's giving me, albeit the hard way.

5. The kind of exposure in terms of learning material and information sources.

5 things I hate about doing an MBA:

1. The fact that it's 80% glorified gassy common sense, 20% substantial stuff.

2. The possibility that I could get severely shortchanged, having quit a plush job.

3. The fact that every day as an MBA student is just another 24 hours of mad rush against time to meet the next day's deadline.

4. The fact that most peers that one knows, regard one as just another 'contact' in his 'network' and seldom as a 'friend'.I intended to make this a short n sweet love-hate list but I can't resist from elaborating on this one, for, a very recent incident left this item of my hate-list etched in my thoughts.

It was one of those boring afternoon sessions in class and I had nearly dozed off but woke up with a rude shock when the prof's jarring words played harsh on my eardrums.It was very heartening to see a senior professor driving home the purpose of interacting with one's neighbour in class, as follows: "Why should you communicate with your peers well during your stay here?Because tomorrow you should be able to pick up the phone and dial his number when you want to get some job of yours done!". I was spell-bound for a moment.Agreed, networking is important but it shouldn't be emphasized to the obnoxious extent that it is perceived as the sole purpose of attempting to build a relationship with a peer!Unfortunately, attempts to build selfless relationships that lack ulterior contingency motives seem to be a thing of the past.They seem to be a class of concepts that fit well only in the supposedly abhorable abyss of the older generation's value system.This is the mindset that most MBAs I know seem to have:Sad but true.

5. The system of GRADING every damn activity that you do in 24 hours of your precious time.Iam glad, atleast our daily maintenance activities have somehow escaped the wrath of the grading system!These activities apart, there's hardly anything else I can think of, which isn't graded.

Quote for the day: We choose our joys and sorrows long before we experience them.
-Kahlil Gibran-

Book Tagged

2005-08-29T23:51:00.000+05:30

Got tagged by Nami.Here I go:

Books I own:
Geeky books apart,my music books apart,joke books apart.....oh lemme stop bugging n get on with the rest:
Digital Fortress and The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown
The Road Less Travelled by Scott Peck
To Kill a Mocking Bird by harper Lee
Surely you must be joking, Mr.Feynman by Richard P.Feynman
The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari by Robin S.Sharma
Sack The CEO by Jitendra Jain
Dilbert and the Way of the Weasel by Scott Adams
A whole lota Calvin n Hobbes books by Bill Watterson

Last few books I bought:
The Road Less Travelled by Scott Peck.I couldn't really complete it.Had a few pages left and I didn't feel like proceeding any further coz it was kinda making for some depressing read page after page.

Last book that was gifted to me:
The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari by Robin S.Sharma
Dilbert and the Way of the Weasel by Scott Adams

Last few books that I have read:
Blink by Malcolm Gladwell : Very very interesting books for the kinds who are interested in psychology and/or human relations.

Business Maharajas by Gita Piramal : An insightful sketch of the business bigwigs who rule the roost in India.

Not a penny more, Not a penny less by Jeffrey Archer : Great read.

Digital Fortress by Dan Brown : Good, but not as good as the one n only Da Vinci Code.

Five point someone by Chetan Bhagat : One of the three lead characters is a brain,a brat,an underdog at IIT and a synonym for fun.Iam so glad I have a real life replica of this character in one of my very close friends too.Very entertaining book.

Bridget Jones' Diary : hahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahaha.Need I say more?

Books that mean something to me:
The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho – Very very inspiring.Made me feel like growing wings and flying off in pursuit of what I cherished as a big big dream then.

The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time by Mark Haddon: Gets very nasty with nauseatic details at times but the lead character is a perfect portrait of the kinda kids I'd love to work with at the orphanages I frequent.

Books I plan to read soon:
21 Dog Years
Husband of a Fanatic
A brief history of time – Stephen W. Hawking

n if you have landed here by choice or chance or lost in the world of cyberspace, thanks for visiting my page and bearing with what was written.To reward you for your patience, here's a link assuming you are a book lover too : http://www.gutenberg.org/browse/recent/last1.php

Would dear Mr.Fundoo carry the tag torch forward, please?

The flood that was

2005-08-09T01:51:00.000+05:30

After a long, long hiatus and toying for the nth time with the silly idea of pulling down my blog once for all, here Iam scribbling insanely again :) After all, some things never change n Iam glad they don't!The Mumbai flood that I survived is too old an incident to write about now but it's one incident that'll remain etched in my memory forever.So here goes....

It was one evening when young dreams of fun and frolic suddenly sprouted wings: Classes were called off owing to heavy rains pouring through walls and ceiling.Knee-deep water had collected in front of our classroom on the first floor.I was having a lot of fun with my my friends,making paper boats and creeping up behind people to push those unsuspecting innocent guys right into the pool of water.Just when I was vehemently propagating plans of having a rain dance on our hostel terrace,all hell broke lose.It began to rain cats and dogs, reducing the visibility to a maximum of 8-10 feet.Being a member of the enthu rain-lovers clan, a classmate of mine quickly appeared at the bistro with his guitar.The next hour saw a group of about 20 brats making merry, singing and dancing together in the rain and our dude strumming away passionately on his guitar.It was quite some time before reality hit us and when it did hit us, it hit us really hard.Seeing the quickly surging anxiety levels of our staff members competing hard with the mercuric rise in water levels,we called it a day to all the fun and frolic and returned to the cosy confines of our dingy hostel rooms.Things turned from bad to worse in a jiffy....

Not a single warm hello crooning into my cell phone, absolutely no sign of sound from the TV on the floor below ours,absolutely no sign of rocking music from any of our laptops either....just "Pitter-patter Pitter-patter Pitter-patter" interrupted by hushed voices from neighbouring rooms .....These were all I could hear, sitting confined within the 4 walls of my hostel room, for nearly two long days that seemed like eternity.Sheets of plastic lying on the huge sea of water collected outside my window,shiny mirrors here n there in the dirty brown water,every human face that I saw around me being devoid of smiles and imprinted with an unmistakable stamp of worry : these were all I saw during those two long days that seemed like eternity.The plastic sheets and mirrors that stood firm in the flowing water had me wondering how scrap had floated around and got pegged midway like that.It took a while for me to realize that what I thought were 'plastic sheets' were actually the rooftops of our profs' cars buried in the murky water and the mirrors were the rear view mirrors of bikes!

No food,no water,no telephones,no power for two full days.Rummaging every room in the wing for the smallest morsel of food,using laptops just one at a time for playing movies to take our minds off what was happening,playing cards and singing in order to kill time,straining our ears to listen to every word of the radio news reporting the deluge....these were all we did during those two gloomy grey days.When we could finally step out of the hostel and wade through waist deep water to reach a departmental store, the sight that met our eyes and the stench from carcasses that hit our noses were unbearable!The guy at the departmental store refused to give us more than one packet of food per head,claiming his supplies had to last for the entire suburb and he could just manage enough to keep people alive.Thankfully, the guy who runs our mess was sweet enough to put off our weekly mess holiday by 2 days and keep it open for us.Having run out of gas,he had a tough time scurrying around the city to get cooking gas and cook a decent meal for all of us.

We were lucky enough to have power restored within two days and telephone networks restored within four days.There were parts of Mumbai that went without power and telephone networks for 10 full days!!!Aged people had to climb 30 stories just to reach their homes, our classmates in the new boys hostel had to swim through 6 feet high water to reach their rooms,dying people could not be saved beause they couldn't be removed to hospitals in time,emergency operations in hospitals could not be performed due to lack of power......the list is endless.

Some alarming stats about the deluge:The water was enough to fill 1.6 lakh olympic swimming pools n each olympic swimming pool holds 2.6 lakh litres.The rains received gave Mumbai enough water to meet its requirements for a whole four months!The record even beat Cherrapunji's record by a whole 11 cm. When the rain was just 12 out of 24 hours through, we had reports that it was the highest ever rainfall since 1910!

No words are enough to describe this experience of a lifetime.Although it's a terribly abrupt way to end a piece of writing, I shall stop here.I can write no more about the ghastly details of what I saw and experienced.Iam just so glad Iam alive and ticking :) Thank you God for a new lease of life.

Learning how to swim

2005-07-23T21:47:00.000+05:30

Cast away into a wild,wild sea,
"I Know how to swim" : Oh no!that's not me.

Neither am I sinking nor am I swimming;
All that's happening is a lot of hapless splashing.

You sometimes make me feel I'll drown in a minute,
But then send a gleeful wave to lift up my spirit.

Oh sea!Will you and I ever gel?
Ask me not,that only time can tell.

Quote of the day: "Egotism is nature's compensation for mediocrity." - L.A. Safian

Tagged

2005-07-13T02:02:00.000+05:30

Got tagged by Varun.Here I go with my taggie questionnaire:

Three names I go by:
Chutki,Pinky,Enthu-cutlet.

Three screen names I would like to have:
bachke_rehna,chutkimutki,mental_loafer

Three physical things I like about myself:
My tiny feet that need shoes of size 3.They cause a lot of embarassment to me n bring some much needed laughter to reprieve-seeking shopkeepers when I go shopping for sandals.
My grey matter covered thankfully with non-grey matter.
My ears that forgot to continue to grow after I turned 5.

Three physical things I don't like about myself:
(1)I don't care
(2)About MYSELF?How can I not like it then :-p Yes,Iam a lil too much in love with myself.....so???

Three parts of your heritage:
(1)I don't exactly kneel down n fold my hands in prayer everyday but I definitely do pray everyday in my own way.Maa are you listening?Iam sure this'll make you happy but that's not the only reason why I wrote it.Iam being honest n all.
(2)Old age is second childhood.So I do pamper my grandparents like I love and pamper kids.
(3)Homeopathy wins hands down over allopathy.

Three things that scare me:
Waning self worth because of underachievement, fear of losing my loved ones,fear of being misunderstood by people who matter to me.

Three of my everyday essentials:
Yahoo messenger, phone, sleep.

Three things I badly want to do before I die:
Earn a worthy epitaph stamped and endorsed by me.
Make arrangements to get God to gimme a life again ASAP :)
Earn powers to selectively erase/fill people's memory slates.

Three careers I'm considering:
IT Consultancy,Child Psychology,Fine Arts

Three places I want to go:
Home,home,home.

Two truths and a lie (in no particular order):
I was kidnapped once.
I love pets.
I absolutely love life.

Tagging Chubby and Nami

Reliving the Lonavala bliss - part II

2005-07-13T01:24:00.000+05:30

4-7-2005:This day was by far my best one in Lonavala.Highlights:
The assault course: 5 random groups of 10.5 outdoor activities.Incessant rains.Slipping all the time while running around for these activities right at the top of a hill.Totally drenched and shivering all through.Getting an incoherent no-one-known-anyone-else team to work together to beat records.Cleanliness and delicate-darling norms thrown to the winds.A whole lot of physical activities that always kept me on my toes.In short, absolutely thrilling.Be it building a runway of pipes continuously to catch a rolling ball into a target container or fishing out 7 floating rubber balls from one bucket into another using thread control or passing people carefully through holes in a cobweb or building a tent completely blindfolded or crossing a river on 2 narrow planks of wood, it all felt like Crystal Maze come true!KM,A and I were the only braveheart women to accept Dwarika sir's challenge of trekking a round-trip to a far-off bus in less than 5 minutes.....I clocked 2 mins,15 secs!!!

The trek:After something as stimulating as the assault course, the trek was a cake-walk.Having trekked on terrains that are atleast 10 times tougher and longer,this one was nowhere close to exciting.It was enjoyable nevertheless.A panoramic view of the foggy Dutchess' nose was what greeted us from the peak of the Dutch's nose.Exchanged some quick mountaineering tips with Tanmay and headed back to our bus, only to find it stuck in knee-deep slush.(OK,accepted that knee-deep for Chutki means a lil more than ankle-deep for everyone else:) ).Cheered our heroes to push the carrier outa the slush and landed back at Shahani to a game of TT and endless gup-shup that went on upto 3am when the profs came down n quietened us down.

5-7-2005:The treasure hunt:5 teams co-ordinate to find clues and unlock one treasure.The idea that all 5 teams were in pursuit of a single treasure occurred to me when we were less than 5 minutes into the game but my group leader n everyone else that I voiced my two-paisa-worth opinion to, played it down as a very improbable thought!Finally a whole 45 precious minutes later, they arrived at the conclusion that it was indeed just one treasure and got working on the clues.Talk of openness to ideas!Treasure hunt was amazing fun and the locale was extremely filmi lush-green.The clues were way too simple though,requiring some compass and measurement skills.This activity brought back fond memories of my days at the Bharat Scouts and Guides Camps.I miss them very dearly....th activities,the spirit,the crowd and the learning.Hope to get back to it soon.The sudden rush of activity while unlocking the treasure is astonishing.If I were to draw a graph of the activity and enthu levels of people from the beginning to the end of the treasure hunt, it would look like this:

Drat!!!The BE-MBA attitude of graphs is catching on really soon now:)

Just two days into the trip, I had run out of my entire stock of dry clothes,thanks to the incessant downpour.Spending the remaining two days in wet clothes was awful to say the least.

The rest of the day was spent in event management.I was on the 3-member core committee of our group.Having to deal with screening and selecting programmes to be presented in our half-an-hour-slot,oraganizing talent pools,co-ordinating amongst the different functional wings,making posters,providing funny headlines to flash and a zillion such shouldered responsibilities ensured that I skipped dinner and had precisely 3 minutes to prepare for my compering for that evening.The stress that came with this muddle of event-management activities coupled with my bad habit of skipping meals over the past one month took a heavy toll on me that night.My close brush with the eternal hush that night deserves a separate post,for the myriad of emotions that gripped me for those crucial 8 hours are impossible to pen down in 2-3 lines.

6-7-2005.All good things must come to an end and so too the bliss I lived in at Lonavala.We had a "Paint your future" activity.I personally didn't find it too useful coz I have strained my brain with precisely this for the past 6-8 months and Iam now at peace with the direction I have set myself on.It would've probably helped those confused souls who are in as confused a state as I was a few months back about what I want to do with the rest of my life.This activity was followed by another one where we had to package 2 eggs with some given material in such a way that they do not break when dropped from a height of 16 feet.This last group was the most challenging one that I got to work with and the one in which my thoughts on group dynamics were reinforced the most.A classic show of ego clashes,Iam-right-u're-wrong attitudes,lack of direction.....it was all there.The negative result was the only thing that was predictable about this group :) It did reinforce a lot of my thoughts about separation of personal relationships from task-based ones.Overall, Lonavala was a lot of fun packed with a lot of learning too.Like the seniors say, it is one of the best things that happen to you at SP after the first 5 days of absolute bliss.

Quote for the day:To be able to spread cheer around,you first need to be happy from within.

Reliving the Lonavala bliss - part I

2005-07-08T09:48:00.000+05:30

3-7-2005.The D-day had finally arrived.Our entire batch of 145 enthu cutlets were going to be packed off to Lonavala for a Personality Growth workshop.We had heard long tales from our seniors about how much fun we were going to have in Lonavala.There was some skepticism lurking in the background though:theirs was a batch that knew each other for 4 long months before Lonavala happened to them,while our batch had been together for hardly a month.Considering that we did not know most of our classmates even by name and considering the prejudiced opinion we had formed of our batch, a lot of us remained highly skeptical about having as good a time as our seniors did.

We were divided into three groups,each packed into a separate bus.Hardly half a km into our journey, the enthu levels began to soar.A lot of screaming and singing followed.I felt a much-craved-for sense of belonging in this junglee fun crowd - it was precisely my types :) The very first stop spot on our itinerary was Bhushy Dam.A dam that was overcrowded thanks to that day being a Sunday,still had some of the most treausrable moments to offer.Anu and I threw inhibitions to the winds and started off by sitting down on the steps, where the gush of water was extemely forceful.Twice in a row, we were literally washed away and luckily pulled back by someone!After experiencing this natural water massage for sometime, a group of us trekked uphill until we were directly below a huge waterfall.The fall of water on our heads was so powerful that I could feel a thousand hammers banging on my head all at once.Just one step further and we were safely behind this sheet of water.Turning to look back at our classmates who were cheering us from below,it felt like looking at the world from behind a sheet of glass.Beautiful sight indeed.Not too sure if this is a thing to be proud of but I was the only daredevil woman who could make it to the other side of this huge fall.It was extremely foggy by now and the visibility was severely limited to a few metres.Sat down on the strong-current-ridden steps for a while longer.The best part about this place is that while you relax on these steps with the cold water giving you a lovely massage,the chaai and butta vendors wade through the water right down to where you are sitting and offer the choicest of chaai and butta! We walked back down,had some hot vada paav and butta,enjoyed a roadside disc complete with DJ n all n then headed towards Shahani Holiday Home - our abode for the next 3 days.The drive, that should've ideally taken about an hour, took over 2 hours, thanks to our novice driver who had us spell-bound with atleast 7 U-turns and reverses on the way!

We checked into our rooms and gathered quickly for a session of ice breakers.The nice part about the ice breaker was that I got to interact with many of my classmates whom I didn't know even by name.The bad part was that it was too cliched a team game and hence quite boring.The funny part was noting how some people go about "talk to each other casually and get to know each other better" as a mundane activity....there they were,drawing out mighty pens n notepads and noting down points about the new person that they were supposed to make friends with!!!We were then divided into three random groups and asked to choose a name,punch line,motto for our group and make presentable posters accordingly.We named our group mosaic and the punch line was as simple and uncreative as "Together we rock".I enjoyed this activity immensely.I was the unanimous choice to make the presentation, thanks to the over-hyped image that people have of my supposedly awesome presentation skills, out here.Modesty apart, it did feel nice to hear all that people said about my presentation, once it was over.With a fair name,uninteresting punch line and a whole lot of gyaan to present, it did take a decent rocker of a presentation to make people sit up and listen!

Teaching as a profession

2005-06-18T16:13:00.000+05:30

Place:Sringeri Shankar Mutt, Bangalore
Time:Summer holidays,every year.
Occasion:Summer Camp for school kids aged between 11 and 17
What I did there: Taught Vedic maths to school kids.
Satisfaction level:***** on a 5 * rating system.

Place:Home sweet home.
Time:Almost every day of the year,2002
What I did:Coached a class X student for the board exams.
Satisfaction level:**** and a half * on a 5 * rating system.

Other memorable teaching (this time, read 'victimizing' ) attempts:Whacking the hell out of my younger brother,while 'helping' him with his acads :)

Teaching is indeed such a satisfactory profession.I have had my share of horrible vampire-like teachers too : the ill-tempered Mukta maam for example...She used to break a dozen glass bangles every week during the process of her daily ritual of slapping me for being a naughty kid in class.Despite these unfortunate encounters, I've always had a major soft corner for teaching as a profession.The idea of being in charge of moulding an individual,equipping an individual with necessary knowledge and skills, and more than anything else, inspiring an individual to make the most of his abilities appeals a lot to me.

Teaching is also an immensely challenging job in its own right.While hunting for a 'challenging' job, most people do brush teaching aside.I beg to differ.Transferring print to young minds is a mundane way of going about it.Whether teaching is challenging or not depends on what the teacher wants to impart, how effectively the teacher imparts it and how well the teacher can get the student to remain attentive,to relate to,to absorb and to apply what has been taught.This reminds me of how my dad used to make it a point to teach us botany only in the garden.His help with my history lessons were so effective that I could paint and visualize the two world wars and the struggle for Indian independence when he spoke of them.He would refuse to help us mug geography merely from the textbook,if we went to him without an Atlas in hand.But the very best part of his teaching was when it came to science.Making countless small paper boats for us on rainy days, setting them afloat,sitting by the window sill watching their motion with the water current and explaining the fundas of buoyancy was some patience personified!He even helped us make models of steam boats,setup small experiments with potatoes,water tumblers and paper pieces,get us intrigued with an observed phenomenon, and set us on the path of figuring out why things work they way they do.

I can think of two major reasons,besides a plethora of smaller ones,as to why people shy away from such a respected profession.....and the sad part is that the two are inter-linked.Reason 1: It doesn't pay well unless you're a big-time PG/research teacher.Reason 2:The social stigma or dignity of labour factor in the Indian society.In fact,the two are inter-linked because Indian mentality ensures that the rich dad is the most respected man in the society.The least we can do about it is to change our attitude towards dignity of labour,stop glorifying software coolies,give teachers their due credit and look beyond following the herd for a change.

A long-pending account of my preps for an intriguing odyssey

2005-06-12T20:09:00.000+05:30

Do you know how it feels when you get a chance to live the dream of a lifetime?On the other hand,do you know, how it feels to make a compromise on the dream that meant the world to you?Do you know how it feels to shut off from a life that has been hunky dory,a life that has been filled with friends ready to give you fun company anytime,a life that has given you long-time bum chums who ease your dil-ka-bhoj at times,a life that has been filled with security,thanks to a family so close that each one forms a comfortable cushion to fall back on anytime anywhere anyhow?Do you know how it feels to enter a whole new world where the place,the people,the language,the circumstances,the food,the lifestyle - just about everything is different from what you have been used to?Well, I just got a chance to figure out how it feels when my journey to SP began.

The fortnight preceding June 5th was dotted with a helluva lot of mixed emotions.I was so happy that I was gonna sail away on a lifetime dream.At the same time, the sorrow of having to choose a steam boat instead of a luxury liner,coupled wthe anxiety about my co-passengers,the anxiety about how changed a person I would come back at the end of it all, intrigued me a lot.Do I really HAVE to come to terms with the "no-IIM,it's SP for you"?Will the new crowd be my types?What if they are all mega ultra hep?I surely will get along with any kind but I definitely will not be my true self with the mega ultra-hep kinds.What if I too get influenced by what I think are 'baddies' in the hostel and change as a person by leaps and bounds?What if the values that I so strongly cling to get eroded gradually by a continuous conditioning of my strong mind?What if the "I love myself for what Iam" no longer holds after this change that I'll experience?These gnawing thoughts began to manifest themselves in obnoxious temperaments.Yelling at the people I was sure Id miss like hell after leaving home,became a daily affair.Those last few days that I spent at Bangalore,shopping,chatting,packing,last-minute shop-ransacking,cooking etc that I did with mom,convincing a concerned dad that I was perfectly alright,bidding my farewell to my closest cronies are some indelible memories of those 15 days.One of those weekends before my departure date,I had an overnight stay at granny's place.Iam immensely attached to my maternal granny n grandpa,thanks to my spending the first three years of my life at their place.That weekend,although granny was pretty sick, she took all the trouble to make unforgettably sumptous food for me,oil-massaged my hair with those frail hands of hers and gave me a hot steam.Some things in life are truly so priceless!!The next morning,grandpa and I went for a long 3 km walk and I walked past all the places around granny's that are so nostalgic to me.....One of them was a Hanuman temple right at the top of the hillock on which granny's house is.It's a small one but a very very serene one,with no compound to block the wildly blowing wind from painting a rangoli on my face using my hair.Ive always been a big chocolate fan and a huge one at that,more so when I was a kid.Back then, grandpa used to take me there,ask me to close my eyes and ask God for Cadbury's Gems.When the innocent me did so, he would ask me to open my eyes and lo and behold I'd find Gems in front of the God's idol.The place would then resound with my ringing laughter and grandpa would be the happiest man around to see me like that.It wasn't until the age of 15 or so that I figured out that grandpa himself would transfer the gems from his pocket, while I unsuspectingly closed my eyes and prayed.We would then stand at the edge of the cliff, shout each other's names out loud and his ears would again be filled with kmy ringing laughter, this time arising out of joy of hearing our names being echoed by the far-away rocks.Alas, Bangalore's too overcrowded now and the echo has died a silent death but Iam just too nostalgic about this place.After the morning walk, I cooked breakfast for grandma and grandpa and had a jolly god time with them.

Meeting up with all my friends the week before I could leave was such awesome fun.It also brought the reality of a hyper busy life with no time to catch up on good ol times,glaring back sneeringly right into my face.Faced a severe time crunch but I wasn't ready to skip meeting any of the dudes and dudettes who meant a hell lot to me.While packing my things,I yapped with them all along and had a hilarious time when they had come home.Dosa treat at Sam's place with V,Poxy,Suz,Priy and RG was good fun too.The day just before she could leave,the last-minute-raani ran to the market to shop jeans,get them altered,shop shoes,bags and God knows what else!!!.Also met the bubbly sweetheart Sush,good ol Ranj n Sam oer lunch.I had deliberately been post-poning the last visit to granny's house and it was finally time to go.Went there at about 10:30pm an cried my heart out like a starved kid!Granny's has a fierce emotional attachment towards me too but she was such a wonderfully mature source of inspiration.

It didn't need any words to sense the heavy-heart atmosphere at home.I was at my saddest worst but tried my best not to show it,lest it make things tough for the rest of them too.Talked to my dearest friends late into the night and cried my heart out.It felt so very frightening to think of the possibility that I may come back a totally changed person and things may never be the same between us again.My bros,grandpa and BMS gang dudes were so sweet to come to the station and see me off the next day.They gifted me a soft toy,we clicked a few snaps and then I boarded the train.Just before it started moving, the tear-tank burst with me clinging on to my bros too.Didn't let go even after the train started chugging along.Poor guys must've had a sad time getting outa a moving train!My journey into an intriguing world had begun and I was choking with the heavy-heart syndrome, trying to come to terms with the initial take-off nausea on the flight of my MBA dream.

n mum,if u're reading this somewhere back home, i just luuuuuuuuuuv SP.Iam havin loadsa fun.So it ws much ado about nothing at all :) but I do miss home a lot....really really a lot

Unofficial Prospectus of BMS

2005-06-03T16:35:00.000+05:30

The following article appears in the latest edition of JAM (link).

One of the favourite ragging questions here: What's the full form of BMS? Answers to the above question range from a naive BM Sreenivasaiah college of Engineering to "Bangalore's Most Sexiest College of Engineering".

Campus: A beautifully landscaped campus, housing a stationery store, cricket ground cum football field, a huge indoor sports complex and an international hostel where guys and gals live in a single block, single floor but separate rooms ;-) The campus also houses other basic essentials like a library, four tall and spacious classroom blocks, canteen etc.

Crowd: Mostly filled with the intellectual lot who score well in the CET exams, but they are anything but nerdish.The crowd is endless fun, consisting of a very very generous sprinkling of handsome hunks, cute guys, pretty gals and gorgeous babes. The colurful crowd can be found jibbering away at any time of the day at any place on the lush green campus.

Courses offered: Engineering of all disciplines ranging from IT to Printing Technology and Silk Technology!

Extra currics: I am highly tempted to say 'studies' are the extra currics here n 'fun' comes under the head of curriculum :) On a serious note, we have a mountaineering club, a hyper-active cultural team, a social service team apart from zillion sports teams that end up winning top honours in nearly every sport under the sun.

Faculty: Very warm, friendly and helpful.

Favourite hangout: BMS Katte. Katte in kannada means a platform.The BMS katte is a huge one and you'll find half of BMS's we-bunk-class-everyday kinda junta here.

Canteen: Looks more like a bus stand, though the food is pretty good. If it's bad for a change, it's SLV restaurant.

Life of BMS: Basketball

How we boo the non-BMS team during basketball: Play drums (read old khataara vessels) with huge wooden sticks singing "We will We will rock you" loudly, but substituting the word rock with F*** :)

Fests: Utsav - a very very happening event in Bangalore, hogging a lot of media glare, and is the one event which the Bangalore youth look forward to. The fashion shows, mad ads and rock shows always run to packed houses.

Tech fest:They are generally department-specific and are spaced out throughout the year.

Job Interviews

2005-05-22T17:33:00.000+05:30

No show-off time now, but it truly felt nice to get a pat on the back for my writing skills from Rashmi Bansal - editor in chief of the JAM magazine and from Vaibhav who's also on the editorial board of the same magazine.

Now to post what the title of this post mentions:

Job Interview – These are two words that, when used in unison, could paint people’s minds and faces with the widest variety of emotions and reactions: triumph, despair, frustration, anger, smiles, fits of laughter….it’s all there. If you have started skimming through this article expecting it to be one of those “How to crack it” gyaan bhandaars, stop! It doesn’t have what you expect to find. It’s just a college-goer’s account of a few memorably witty job interviews that I’ve been through, a few that I’ve seen around me and the subtle fundas that I picked up from these experiences.

In one of my friend’s interviews, the interviewer was gutsy enough to ask “What’s the difference between you and a bastard?” My friend thought awhile and snapped back “One table length!” Needless to say, he got through, despite having ridiculed the interviewer with his witty repartee. In my interview, I was mockingly asked about my chess nationals – “So you consider yourself a stud in chess?”. I said to the young man with a tinge of my naughtiness - “Yes I do! If you employ me, you never know when I might check-mate you!!”. He was thoroughly embarrassed as his colleagues on the panel broke into fits of laughter. In another interview, a friend was asked what he did in his spare time. The interviewer was obviously looking for a healthy, interesting hobby list that embellished the candidate’s personality or maybe a geeky extension of the candidate that made him code even during his spare time. My friend blurted out “I just chill out with my friends” and he was immediately asked to leave. Funda that I picked up: Set your rhythm to the pulse of the interviewer. Be perceptive enough to gauge what the interviewer is looking for. If he’s witty enough, your sharp wit, presence of mind and chill attitude are also appreciated. If he isn’t, you would do better to maintain a formal and serious tone when you answer.

As I entered the CTS interview room, the words of my gyaan-guru seniors rung in my ears – Mention ONE subject that you’re really confident of and they’ll grill you only on that. At the opportune moment, I mentioned ‘Operating Systems’ and boy! the next 45 minutes were spent asking me questions on every single subject I had studied in 3 years of engineering. When the storm was all over, the interviewer thought out loud “Anything else?” and I had a good mind to say: “Yeah! Thanks for quizzing me on every subject under the sun. You probably forgot English!”. Funda that I picked up: Surprises can spring up, totally contradicting even your most-trusted, been-there-done-that gyaan-gurus.

In one of my interviews, the interviewer’s last question to me was: Based on your experience, tell me one thing you’ve learnt about interviews and I honestly spoke up: I’ve learnt that you need not know the answers to everything! She applauded in admiration. But that obviously doesn’t mean you draw a blank on most of the questions posed.

In Toto, what I’ve learnt from some funny interview encounters, is that technical soundness alone gets one nowhere. A thorough read-up on the company and job profiles is a must. Confidence, wit, presence of mind, poise, sensitivity to what the interviewer is looking for and choosing one’s words carefully are a few traits that I’ve personally seen, working wonders and turning huge tides in the candidates’ favour.

A leaf from the past

2005-05-20T23:50:00.000+05:30

What is it like, catching up with a long-lost buddy after 13 long years!?!I was lucky enough to figure out on Saturday...

Ater I had schooled for 8 long years, a new girl made her entry when I was in my 6th standard.Nami was a thin,fair girl.All that I remember was that she used to stand at the far end of our school assembly lines,being the tall kid that she was,while I used to be amongst the first few short ones.For some vague unknown reason, I was under the perception that she was from England!She was in a section different from mine and we never really interacted much.We later moved into the same school again for high school education but the sections remained different and we remained the hi-hello buddies that we always were.It was after 13 long years that I got a scrap out of the blue in my Orkut scrap book saying "hey seema! remember me? I came in late... 6.5th std :)?" One look at the name was enough to inundate me with golden memories of school.I instantly replied, asking if we could meet up n the 'date' was fixed for Saturday,11am,Cafe Coffee Day, after a few funny scrap exchanges.

Yours truly being a baby when it comes to 12-hour sleep schedules, got up at 10:45am,unable to bear the sun shining directly into my eyes.Rushed to the phone,dialled Nami's number to tell her we could meet up in half an hour and got to hear a polite "She's out to meet her friend at CCD" from Nami's mom.Quickly got dressed in the very first wrinkle-free thing that I could lay my hands on and landed at CCD at 11:10am.Oooooof!that was quick.Nami had settled down with a book at a comfy corner table n looked very,very pleasant.Exchanged greetings n hugs with the gorgeous girl whose wit I had begun to admire after our scrap exchanges on Orkut.The very first thing that I said to her was "Oh!Not bad if I find myself a tall boyfriend,Nami.I just realized that my petite self can still manage a decent hug with tall people ;)"

As we settled down with our hot chocolate and coffee,we got talking about everything under the sun ranging from nostalgic school days,staying single,crushes,career plans,hobbies,friends,books,attitudes,treks etc.She frankly told me that although we didn't talk much during our school days,she just thought I was a snob - "simply because anyone who's cute and who's a topper is BOUND to be a snob :)" I had had no opinion of her in school coz I did not know her at all.I liked the '20 questions about each other' game that I convinced her into playing,although we did not quite complete 20 full questions.That, till date, is the quickest and most enjoyable fun way that I've known,to get to know a stranger/an acquaintance better.

She then took me to her workplace and showed me around the campus.I admire its interiors.They are painted so well by spastic children.I had seen the office earlier too but being shown around by a friend with all the accompanying chitter chatter,being told some funny incidents/trivia about the place/colleagues as we paraded up and down the fleet of stairs,standing on the terrace to catch a panoramic view with the wind blowing against our hair was a different and immensely enjoyable experience by itself.

It was time to part ways again.I was a lot richer in terms of joy, as I returned home,thinking of the wonderful reunion that had just happened with someone I had begun to adore,with someone who shared a lot of my interests,with someone whose crosses matched a lot with mine,with someone whose company was absolutely wonderful.From what she said to me and wrote in her blog, she loved the meet too and returned home with prejudices about my being a "cute smart snob" changed for good :) It's amazing what wonderful things could result when people can be balanced enough to put in just that lil bit of extra effort to let an open mind win over a mind that's prejudiced,ain't it?

Big bad world

2005-05-17T14:52:00.000+05:30

Iam glad that I finally got down to writing this post that I so badly wanted to write, after a week of endless procrastination:

An empathetic,socially responsible,selfless woman activist tries her best to curb the meaningless,preposterous and superstitious tradition of child marriage by trying to talk sense to people and this is what happens to her : Hands severed,she lies in hospital, battling the pathetic twist that life meted out to her as a reward for her efforts.

A college girl goes shopping with her girl gang.She meets her friend there.This guy takes her to his place on some "exchange books" pretext and gang-rapes her along with his friends.The innocent girl now spends her life in solitude, battling ostracization, shame and extreme depression : a price she had to pay for trusting a friend!

These are just two of the umpteen stab-in-the-back incidents that have caught my attention of late.Values,undoubtedly is a personal thing,but what a shame to see even the most universal and basic of them being thrown to the winds!What a shame to live in a world where trust is broken at the drop of a hat n noble causes are repaid with infliction of untold suffering! Reminds me of this:

Watch out for the big bad world,
it's coming at you now.
Baby girl it's a big bad world,
so let me show you how to survive
and to keep the love alive
in this big bad world - yeah!
[/Chorus]

It's not about bad expectations,
I'm just saying that you need to be aware.
No one said it'd be easy, so believe me,
I'm a pain because I care.
Don't you know you're a part of something more,
someday you'll discover what your life is for........

Fashion statements - part 2

2005-05-16T15:12:00.000+05:30

...Continued from the previous post

The hot fair babe who seems to love flaunting the fact that she's being waist-held by Mr.AutoDriver,is cat-walkin as unnaturally as possible with gay aplomb.

*** She has a thorny short hair cut that's (a)giving her a "stay away from me" kind of prickly porcupine look (b)putting the cactii to great shame.Missie has also coloured her hair with the dirtiest brownish yellow streaks,making her look as though she forgot to wash herself after having accompanied a buffalo in its roll-in-the-slush frolic.The streaks, needless to say,are held together in innumerable small plaits using multi-coloured beads that XXX uses to adorn her Barbie dolls.Who's XXX?U guessed it right this time:my one-year-old neighbour.Grrrrrrr!I never seem to get bored of bringing in the one-year-old.

*** The small silver rings that the guy wore on his eyebrows n lips are replicated on Ms.Hottie's eyebrows n lips too.So is the silver lump on his tongue.

*** Apart from the four small rings at the top of her ear, the small ear-lobe also carries the weight of long metal ear rings, that are reaching all the way down,way beyond her shoulders.On a hugely exaggerated scale, it certainly seems like our dear Missie has mistaken the wind-chimes in her room for ear rings!

This is about those aspects of the femme fatale that we GALS wud notice.Now coming to the aspects that the darker sex wud notice:

*** Ms.Hottie,despite having a fairly flabby belly,has enough guts (or should I say is shameless enough) to don a blood-red figure-hugging spaghetti top that stops just short of her belly button.Ofcourse we understand why....the silver lump that adorns the guy's tongue is replicated in greater numbers all aruond the girl's belly button!Flung around her neck is a white fur piece.Why I hate fur is a different story altogether as you shall soon see below.

*** The capri jeans are low-rise jeans that stop just below the knees.Slidin through one belt-slot in the jeans, is a shiny steel chain (the cycle chain types, except for its shine)

Chutki's mawaali instincts make her prod her group to whistle at the item jodi n shout out cat-calls at them.However, just as someone prepares to shout "tall hep babe",Ms.Hottie twists her steps, the 8-inch pencil heels give way and the heavy frame comes crashing down.The rest of the scene is left to the reader's imagination since it falls way beyond the scope of my limits of vulgarity-descriptions.It would serve better purpose for the reader, though, to stop painting pictures of the babe-fall scene and return with me to grab the bottomline of the post.

MY take on fashion:Fashion is definitely a matter of personal choice.I,for one,love long ear rings although I sneer at them calling em wind chimes here.However, we would all make a more SENSIBLE choice if we keep certain factors in mind while choosing our fashion statements:

(1)Weather:Showing up in a spaghetti top n low rise capri jeans or a showing up in a half-unbottoned shirt on a cold winter day when all your peers are fat and snug in sweaters and jackets may make you look different n ultra-sexy but it's also ultra-stupid....Y dare to bare when all you get is a contemptous glare ;-)

(2)Occasion:Showing up in spaghetti tops,capris and 24-pocket cargos on ethnic day is ridiculous to say the least!

(3)Peers:If I were to be in a college that had an ultra-hep crowd, I probably wouldn't wear tank tops just to keep up with the crowd....but i wouldn't show up in college everyday with oiled hair partitioned at the centre,with a huge round bindi as big as my eye either.On the contrary if I were to be in a college that had an ultra-orthodox college, I would show up in a salwar suit on atleast 60% of the working days.I would NEVER show up like Mr. n Mrs.Hottie.

(4)Comfort:What sense would it make for one to wear a top that is so tight that it's sure to tear when you lift your arm over your head?What sense would it make to wear a mid-reef top if you are so uncomfortable in it that you keep pulling it down every two seconds?This one's just for Mr.Anonymous who commented on my previous post:What sense would it make for someone to forcibly try to fit into her old 28-sized jeans when what she needs now is a 100000 sized one? :))

(5)A sense of social responsibility:Proudly waist-holding your skimpily clad girlfriend if you're walking to a disc is fashionable.Doing the same when you're visiting a kids' school or a temple???

(6)Last but definitely not the least, a lil civic sense about the environment, a lil concern for animals:Wish Ms.Hottie will watch this macabre video before selecting her next fur scarf.It would surely make an impact on anyone who has a heart.So think twice next time you want to buy that fur coat or that leather belt.

Be fashionable but don't compromise on being sensible too!

Fashion statements - Part 1

2005-05-14T20:10:00.000+05:30

All the "she's a tall,hep babe","his shoes are so cool","her lipstick is so chic","his cap is so sexy","this is such a yo place","his sunglasses are so hot" are drilling a second hole in each of my ears.This is the kinda lingo that Iam exposed to on a daily basis,thanks to my hanging around with the crowd of my age group.Not that I find this derogatory,not that I don't like it,not that I don't like the "punch" n "kicks" that I get out of using lingo like that,not that I don't use it generously.However, I DO find all this gaga about fashion statements like caps,clothes,shoes etc. nauseatic,irrelevant n extremely ludicrous at times.Times like when?Here's when:

It's a very cold day in December n it's the much-awaited ethnic day at Chutki's college.Chutki, with her group,is busy at an ADDA(slang for 'hang out') in college, bak-bakking endlessly about every humanly imaginable topic under the sun.Today the group's gossip is about how wonderfully traidtional n ethnic Ms.SweetGal is lookin in a saree.Just as the discussion drags on about who n who n who else is Ms.Sweet-n-beautiful,a hottie hunk(whose description follows)breezes by,waist-holding,a hotter babe (ofcourse,her description also follows his.They are sticking together after all, u c.So are their descriptions).

***Mr.Hot-Hunk has spiked his hair in the la-Vchannel-VJ style.

***He has taken pains n borne all pains to get all the prickable parts of his face pricked.There are small silver dangling rings adorning his eyebrows n lips- the kinds that my one-year-old neighbour wears exactly where they belong - on her ears ofcourse.

***There's a slightly bigger ring hanging from one n only one ear - a trademark of today's 'yo dudes'.This ring,needless to say,is my one-year-old-neighbour's bangle.

***There's a small round lump of silver stuck on his tongue,which flashes every time he opens his mouth to talk.
~~ First question that whirrs into my mind - how does he eat/taste/chew comfortably with that trummel stuck there!?!
~~Second question that baffles me - how the hell did he stick it in there?
~~Third - what if the glue or whatever it is, just fails sometime n he swallows n chokes oer the darn thing?
~~Fourth - if costly metals on his body are so fashionable, he might as well go get golden teeth - the kinds that some rich grandpas have.Then maybe I shall christen him 'The golden fanged one'.

So much for the face.With the face being so eye-catching,ur tempted to check out what else is yo about our man.So ur gaze shifts from the face.

***U cannot miss the heavy steel chain that's choking his neck.(the kinds that you use to fasten ur luggage to your seat while travelling by train so that the chaai-chaaaaaaaaai guy or masaala-vadaaaaaaai guy or the kaapi-kaaaaaaapppppppi guy doesn't wack it off when ur sleepy self is lost in sleep land - a blissful escape from the hustle-bustle of the mundane big bad world around).

***Follow the chain down n u'll notice the top 3 buttons of his loose khaaki shirt flung wide open.In his, what I suppose is a vain attempt to seduce chics by baring a hairy chest,our man ends up looking like a chapraasi auto driver.sigh!n some dudes like our man here,even have rudraaksh maalas peeking out of the 3 button-peek-hole.Rudraaksh around ur neck n rings all oer ur face!Wow now that's what I call contemporary fusion in fashion.

***As for the trousers,it surely is the supposedly hep 24-pocket black cargos.U n I may wonder what the 24 pockets are for but Mr.Richie Rich with silver rings n lumps all over his body, surely seems to have his reasons.

***Boot all the above with a pair of godzilla-sized green coloured shoes with white stripes n white laces which aren't tied ON the shoes like most of us do,but are pulled back like the reins of a horse and tied all the way all over the back of his majesty's legs too.

***Top off this cool-dude look with his flaunting the latest radio-cum-camera-cum-infrared enabled,bluetooth enabled,internet access enabled,Gawd-knows-what-the-hell-else-is-enabled cell phone.All that seems to be missing on our fashionable student is a bag/book.

To be continued...

Tough to bid adieu

2005-05-09T12:13:00.000+05:30

Getting emotionally attached to people?That's one area where yours truly is incredibly slow,and I must add,consciously and cautiously so.Despite all this theory looking good on paper, I realized a tad too late that it was just my THEORY indeed.Despite spending just a month n a half at 'Cyber Cafe Resort' alias 'My Office', I realized that I had indeed grown quite attached to my pals in CCR.I can vouch for the fact that I have had 100 times more fun during my short stint here than I have had during the past year n a half.I guess it had something to do with the crowd mix - most of the yuppies with me were my age.This was the junta that helped me wade through the bheja fry sessions which were (1)the times when I'd relax with some hot chocolate (2)the times when I'd rush to class in my just-outa-bed look (3)the times when students behind me would see 10 Yahoo windows blinking on my screen while I furiously nodded in agreement with what the speaker was saying,blissfully ignorant of whateva it was that he was saying (4)the times when I would be so lost in class that I could easily mistake a lecture for a lullaby n lull myself to sleep (5)the times when I got to surf as much as I wanted,all for free(cheeee how cheap!)(6)the times when we'd sneak out to the coffee area,hate the huge mirrored wall n stil spend enuf time on it to steal some sidey glances at cute people(7)the times when tests were synonymous with group discussions(8)the times when a lota funny bewada talk would spam our inboxes(9)the times when 'session on architecture and internals' meant 'a session earmarked for planning our evening movie'(10)the times when physical fights with SA were so much fun...........ooh i could go on n on n on.This was also the very same junta that helped me fight my mighty war against Ms.SJ - a pathetic excuse for a human being!In short, this group of frenz is one that I'll miss terrrrrrrrrrrribly when I leave B'lore on my MBA@SPJ odyssey.Was a lovely evening this Friday where my dearie dearie frenz group missed their shuttles and stayed back just to spend some quality time with me before I could bid adieu.My pals gifted me with a beautiful musical showpiece.We clicked some awesome snaps just before sunset.SA gave me the much promised over-due ride on his bike.Took a nice long walk with Ro dahling n finally headed home.

Spent the weekend havin a lota fun with this group of frenz.Played the most kiddish of games in Cubbon Park(It's so nice to be the kids that we once were, all over again),laughed our hearts out,posed some funny n weird poses for Rummy's cam,cooled off oer icecream at Corner House,spiced up the evening with some masala corn at Food World,were sadak chaaps on the MG Road steps for a while,bought glasses from Lawrence n Mayo for our dear ol blind Bhatta before finally calling it a day.

Shall miss em all big time.....I hope they all remember to spam my mailbox,make my ears go deaf coz of the constantly ringing cell phone,send pigeons to deliver all their love mails(they betr have loadsa em :) ) n visit me as often as they can.Loaaaaaaaaaaadsa luv n full of nostalgia,chutki.

frustrated

2005-05-09T11:56:00.000+05:30

Blogger has really really been getting on my nerves....I have access to a comp only from my home now n I can access everything else BUT my blog site!!!Changed browsers...nothing works .... aaaaaaargh.Pathetic to be back to the 'post once in 10 days' mode...*sigh*

Bungee Jumping

2005-04-25T17:17:00.000+05:30

Stepped into Archies the other day to shop for Saurabh's bday gift n was kinda alarmed to see Archies charging a preposterous 50 bucks for a 1/2 an inch-by-1/2 an inch-by-1/2 an inch diary with exactly 6 pages.It's so ridiculous n disappointing to see the adventure sport-ers hike their fee just like the Archies trend quoted above -the trend that had me shell-shocked.A single bungee jump costs 600/- ... thankfully Times' card holders would get it for half the price n i was lucky enough to get to tag along wid a friend who was a Times' card-holder.Reached Palace Grounds by 2pm n the blazing-hot sun didn't seem too encouraging at all.Watched a few people do their Rocket Man (reverse bungee).That looked like a lot of fun - getting ejected obliquely at a great speed to a height of 140 feet n then a free fall followed by huge pendulum swings.We(8 of us) waited for the Rocket Man brave-hearts to be done n then went to the crane area to do the bungee thingy.When a few people ahead of me were gearing up, I was busy yapping on the phone wid my friend.

Friend:Done?How're u feeling?
Me:Not yet.Last time I went parasailing thinkin that a flight at 250 ft above Mother Earth would b damn thrillin n scary n all that.It finally turned out to b such a damp squib.Was hardly anything u know.....n now I've come here to do the thrilling bungee but the height's JUST 140 feet.Iam kinda disappointed ya.....I don't think it'll b even half as thrilling as I think.I can't believe some people are talking as though they are mighty scared! Moreover, u remain in the air flying around for just about half a minute.
Friend:Half a minute isn't enough?
Me:No way!I'll fold my arms n play "catch me if u can" when they try to catch me by the arm to get me back on the ground.

When it was finally my turn, I entered the cage with the guide.It was a squarish cage enclosed on three sides.The fourth side was open with a slight projection - something like a very short diving board.I tried to get myself totally into the cage n the guide asked me to step back n stand on the projection instead,while he safely perched himself well within the enclosed area.As the cage took off higher n higher, the guide tried to keep me distracted by having a "what's ur name,how old r u" kinda small-talk.I found myself giving him half-hearted crisp answers,thanks to a weird fear that was beginning to grip me as we went higher n higher.When we finally reached the 140 ft limit, he asked me to turn around n NOT to look down.As the sayin goes, the forbidden fruit's always tastier n I promptly turned around n looked down.Gooooooosh!!!The sight that I saw made me go weak in the knees n the entire world around me began to reel.Here's the counselling conversation that ensued between the guide n me.

Guide:Stretch out one hand in front of you Cma.
Me:(Closing my eyes n believing like never before in the Almighty,I stretched out one hand)Done.
Guide:Now the other.
Me:(Stretching out the other hand n withdrawing the previously stretched out hand)Done.

At this point, I vaguely remember hearing people on the far ground below,guffawing away to glory at the hilarious scene I was creating.Priyank shouted out "Wat the hell are you upto!?!U sure are practising aerobics up there" n I retorted "Nooooooo....This guy's teachin me how to swim"

Guide:Come on Cma,take a deep breath.
Me:Hang on....wat did u say ur name was?
Guide:Sachin.
Me:Great.Just in case I die, I'll atleast know the name of my murderer.Listen Sachin,Iam not sure I wana do this.Can we go back please?
Guide:Come on Cma, when a 6-yr old can do it, y can't u?Stretch both ur hands out.
Me:(Feeling offended n all with this new comparison wid a 6-yr old)Ofcourse I'll do it,how can I not....but Sachin,are u 200% sure Iam gonna b alive after all this?If Iam,I promise to chant ur name 5 times every single day.
Guide:hehehehe.U r funny.Now look straight.
Me:Yeah....beautiful landscape.That's my dear dear city for the last time.
Guide:Both hands forward.
Me:(Stretched both forward,had almost plunged.Stopped,turned back to Sachin n said)U rnt gonna push me from behind, r u?
Guide:No,absolutely not.

He finally cajoled me into taking the dreaded plunge.As my heavy self struggled to defy gravity and come to terms with the sudden blood rush into my head, I heard myself screaming at the top of my voice:"Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawd, lemme liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive. I wana liiiiive".Heard more guffaws @ this one n then the world below me went blank.

Soon after the near-death experience,I experienced one huge jolt n the rope had me making those huge pendulum swings.I was kinda relatively tranquil by now,the thrill of it all having sunk well with me.However, the "ONLY half a minute" that I mentioned to my friend seemed like a whole hour to me n the "ONLY 140 feet" that I cribbed about seemed like a drop from Mount Everest itself.I was more than willing to let them catch me by the arm n get the flying lady back on the ground.Instead of the "catch me if u can", "please catch me soon" was what i heard myself shouting out to them.The queen of paradoxes n contradictions had done it again!Felt good to stand on a podium that screamed out loud: Honoured here are those who had the courage to defy peers,parents n gravity n i couldn't agree more - especially with the parents part :)

Quote for the day:The experience of overcoming fear is extraordinarily delightful.
-- Bertrand Arthur William Russell

Road to hell - the beginning

2005-04-18T17:45:00.000+05:30

While in college, we used to find the familiar phrase "ROAD TO HELL" furiously etched on every step that led to our classrooms.Just when I began to feel that Iam left with only these nostalgic memories from college to live with, I was pinched back into reality and made to realize that the familiar phrase still screams out at me with all its fury.....the difference being just that the HELL in that phrase has transmogrified (flicking one of my hero's terms...Calvin's terms I mean) from classroom to office.I do have lots n lotsa fun at office,enjoy being the lost-in-her-own-world joker of the training room........why is it then, that i call my journey to office, the road to hell? Here's why:

The first spot on the road is my cozy lil bed.I guess some kind of a better-than-fevicol-ka-jod glue spreads out magically on my bed while Iam asleep, refusing to let me tear myself away from my comfy bed early in the morning.For someone who's used to 12 hours of sleeping like a baby, getting up at 7:30am to catch the 7:45 bus is like getting up at midnight!As I rush myself thru the daily maintenance activities with half-closed eyes (thanks to which I had once spread dad's shaving cream on my toothbrush,mistaking it for tooth paste), my heavy self manages to gallop down the street with mom yelling the pyaara pyaara "pleeeeez eat something b4 u go" concerns out at me.Iam sure the gardener who works in the lovely glasshouse down the street definitely gets a shiver down his spine every morning when I gallop down with huge thuds,mimicking a mammoth-conquers-earth disaster, or more realistically an earthquake scenario.He lifts his busy head up to look at me rushing past n I see his frightened face curve into a warm smile.As I wave to him n rush past, I sometimes get lucky enough to reach the bus-stop in time.Everyone at the bus-stop without exception,shoots a "beware of her" or "which slum is she from" or "is that just hopelessly dishevelled hair or is it really hay on her head" or "that big company's tag that she's wearing.....does that major company really employ ragpickers n vagabonds like these" or "was her just-outa-bed kinda appearance just a faux pas or is she mistakenly headed for office instead of the psychiatrist's clinic?".By the time i shoot back the appropriate "I'll bite you if u look @ me like that" kinda glares at these people, my bus breezes into the stop.People shoot the final parting glance that shouts out loud "Iam sure she's boarding this cool-lookin luxury bus coz she's mistaking it for a 'save-the-street-children-from-turning-into-drug-addicts' van".Finally, escaping their preposterous pricky glares, I board the bus.

n at times when i don't get lucky enough 2 reach my bus-stop on time,I see the empty bus stop,miss those wicked glances n quickly embark on the huge task of maskaaofying Chubby to do a filmi ishtyle chase of my office bus.Just like how it happens in the movie stunts,Chubby's bike pulls up next 2 the bus after a 2km chase, manages 2 overtake it n go right in front of the bus,blocking its way.I look back n wave frantically at the driver,signalling to stop,with my forest-swampwaali hair flying carelessly all oer my face,adding to the sadak-chaap bacchi look.That driver guy has the nerve to shoot back a derisive smile n dismiss my request to stop sometimes.Just wait until I unleash my rowdy ways on him!Bbye 4 now bloggie.Got to go n catch my bus....I'll continue yappin tomo.

long weekend

2005-04-18T16:30:00.000+05:30

I had to take an off from work on Friday since I was quite ill.That made it a long weekend.

Cough,cough,sneeze,sneeze,hello,hello,maaaa i still have a fever,maaaa im feelin so guiddy,maaaaaaa im feeling so nauseatic - well, that constituted 90% of my talking time this sick weekend.

Was so boring for the restless me to just lie down all day long like a sick granny n take REST like the doc asked me to.So did a lil bit of reading n made another small wall-hanging this weekend.Remember I mentioned that I had been reading 'The Road Less Travelled' in an earlier blog post?That was loooooooooong back but Iam still hooked to the same book.It's not voluminous but is so heavily loaded in terms of its thought-provoking content.Skimming oer it just for the heck of reading it might take about 3 hours but if you stop, think,try to digest n implement the ideas n views expressed, u'll probably take nearly as long as Iam taking - 3 weeks if Iam right.My second wall-hanging has some finishing touches to be added.

As they rightly say,an idle mind is the devil's workshop....The jobless me found myself in a majorly deep philosophical mood, threatening Plato's undisputed numero uno position.Spent a lot of time contemplating on a helluva lota topics that interested me endlessly,searching for answers that seem to be eluding me for too long now.

In toto, this weekend was in stark contrast to the previous one where I had so much fun loafing - first to a humour evening that was so entertainingly hilarious, then to a Kannada play called 'Bandvaalvillada Badaayi'.A weekend well spent.

Quote for the day: Life's sometimes so beautiful,sometimes so disgusting.....but it's never 'always beautiful' and never 'always disgusting'.
~~Chutki :-p

Today in history: Today, in 1861, at Fort Sumter was fired upon, returned fire, and the United States was officially at war with itself - the great Civil War began.After it had all ended, over 600,000 Americans had perished.

Depressing,I understand

2005-04-14T12:59:00.000+05:30

This post is dedicated to one of my dearest frenz who's goin thru a terribly depressing breakup.What makes the breakup as tough as it is, is that things are quite fine n intact between her n her guy but the breakup has been forced upon them due to ridiculous reasons.I wrote this heartfelt verse for her n ended up in tears by the time I was done.Didn't mean to post it on this blog - a personal message that was intended just for her but Iam doin so outa her own request.....I really hope she gets back to the cheerful self that she once was.I feel really really bad for her n am so despondent about the whole thing.The crux of this episode will be the subject matter of my next critical blog - a subject that I've been longing to write on since a long long time, a subject that has been mentioned in my blog's description - 'Love in India - a reason to celebrate or crib'.For now, here's the verse:

I know that u were promised the moon n the stars,
And all u have now are emotional scars;
That, together, u had built castles in the air,
And all you have now is a daily-visitor nightmare.

I understand dearest,I understand every inch of what u've been thru;
Cling on to me tightly baby,I'll do my best to help u pull thru.

I've seen how u can't forget his caring acts,acts through which he showed he luvd u in his own sweet way,
I've seen how every happening reminds u of him, despite ur best efforts to keep busy steerin down life's highway;
I know u still shed a silent tear my dear,
When ur all alone n no-one's near.

I understand dearest,I understand every inch of what u've been thru;
Cling on to me tightly baby,I'll do my best to help u pull thru.

I know that control over urself meant the world to you,
n that this was the only time u listened to your inner voice coo -
"Let go of urself,he's the one for you,
The man who'll light up ur life n stick 2 u like glue."
I know this was the only time when u let ur heart rule oer ur head,
n that decision now makes u feel like ur on ur death bed!

I understand dearest,I understand every inch of what u've been thru;
Cling on to me tightly baby,I'll do my best to help u pull thru.

I know u're extremely conscientious unto ur last breath,
n now guilt rules supreme across ur mind's length n breadth;
I've witnessed ur horrifying transformation from 'warm' to 'ice-chill',
n the slow melting away of ur strong,cast-iron will.
I know none can fill the void that he has left behind,
Nevertheless I'll try helpin u regain ur lost mind.

Iam a huge fan of the warrior in u who's bravely fighting his way back to normalcy,
I pray his victory will soon be here : u in ur normal self for the world to c.

I understand dearest,I understand every inch of what u've been thru;
Cling on to me tightly baby,I'm always there for u.

Pretty pretty on the wall

2005-04-13T14:08:00.000+05:30

Now I realize : mom's threats of throwing away my things, often do a helluva lot of good to me!These threats started way back in college when I used to get morbidly obsessed with some of my pretty/smart clothes - to the extent that I'd wash n wear the same 4 or 5 outa 35 tops to college over n over again.The same was the case with 4 outa 18-20 salwar suits.Mom finally resorted to hiding these away in a suitcase so that I'd use the other clothes too instead of presenting myself like an abjectly destitute victim stricken by some natural calamity(No offence meant.....all my due respects to those who braved n survived the wrath of the natural disasters whose numbers in recent times are on a meteoric rise).

This weekend, the threat extended to "I'll throw away the half-completed wall-hanging lying under ur cot.It has been lying there untouched for atleast a year now n has gathered more than a few inches of dust".To make a long story short,I spent most of Friday digging up this museum piece of incomplete art from the dirt pile n got working on it right away.It has a white peacock sitting on a branch covered with leaves flowers n twigs.The entire piece is set on a black background.It's made of sola wood.Painting it was greeeeeeeeeeat fun.I painted the twigs brown with the Fevicryl colours that I had n then realized that I had none of the other colours needed for the leaves n flowers.The lazy me was way too lazy to go out n buy paint.So got a lil over-creative n decided to make some paint myself.Emptied green holi powder on to my pallette,mixed it with gum n water n there I had green paint ready to be smeared on to the leaves.Did the same with red,pink n golden coloured powders n I had lovely hues for flowers n the pollen.Ditching modesty for now,the pretty lil wall hanging did receive applause from everyone who cared 2 see it.It is now perched neatly in the hall of my home - the hall of fame :)

Quote for the day:A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
-- Herm Albright

This day in history:21-year-old Tiger Woods wins the prestigious Masters Tournament by a record 12 strokes.

The R factor in a relationship

2005-04-05T17:23:00.000+05:30

My instructor for the day has been babbling about 'relationships' between 'entities' in his desperate efforts to help us master UML.n being the lateral thinker that Iam(Iam tryin to be soft on myself....hence calling myself 'lateral thinker' instead of 'mental loafer'/'incorrigibly off-track' which wud've been more apt in this situation), I got into my 'Plato ki amma' philosophical garb n started pondering on what one D-thing I consider quintessential, to hold a relationship together.I mean the Fevibond item in a reln.After initially groping with the hackneyed n obvious

affection
frequency match
space
common interests
agree to disagree

etc list, I was forced to halt for a moment n think about 'Respect/Admiration'.I began to associate with a few past stray incidents in my life n in the lives of my closest cronies......incidents when we've mercilessly written off people that we wouldn't want as part of our lives ever again,incidents when we've consciously chosen to keep a safe distance from a few people.After a brief incident-based-post-mortem aimed at digging deep into why we did what we did,I realized one factor that was common in all these cases.To sum it up:

We frame our inital opinions about people based on either the first impression or, as is the case with the more thoughtful lot,based on our interactions with these people and their reactions to situations over an initial acquaintance period that we have with them.During this period, a subconscious concrete classification of what we like and dislike about the person begins to form in our minds.Over a period of time, we accept the person with these initial notions of not-so-bad vices/tolerable vices that we had spotted in him/her.

As the relationship grows older and moves from 'acquaintance' to 'friend' or 'more than a friend', we begin to witness some events to which he/she reacts in a way that's not quite favourable to our taste.Then comes the great fall,suddenly reducing the initial 'wow' opinion we had had of the person to zilch n giving way to thoughts such as "Oh but i thought he/she was a lot more mature than this!","Oh but i thought he/she'd handle it better","Oh I thought he/she gave our relationship the utmost importance and prioritized it over all else","I thought I was his/her very best friend","I didn't know he/she was so foolish.He didn't even know THIS!?!","He doesn't present himself/herself well".We may limit this judgement to just that incident and uphold our initial perception of the person OR in the sad case that the incident had major repercussions, we may head towards souring our relationships.Initial perceptions are washed away,we do not respect/admire the person anymore cz they just aren't as wonderful as we thought they were.Bottomline:The day when you feel your respect for a person slipping away is the day when the relationship has begun its journey on the downward slide.

Quote for the day: Cheap things are of no value, valuable things are not cheap.
Today in History:Tito was made the president for life of the newly named Socialist Federal Republic of Yugoslavia!!!

Evil-minded

2005-04-04T17:38:00.000+05:30

The world would be a much more peaceful n likeable place to live in if it were to be full of only cunning n crooked-minded idiots, the kinds that I know.The whole prob is that some of us r not that way (we're the so-called goodie goodie types) n some others are.Too sad to belong to the former class n get trampled over by the latter.So glory b to the cunning lot.Let there b more of u!

Smart pranks n the not-so-smart me in fools' paradise

2005-04-04T13:40:00.000+05:30

There goes my claim 2 fame or shud I say ill-repute: cat-woman busted totally

I'll detail 2 of the 3 "How i was duped" episodes here n save the third (n undoubtedly the smartest of pranks) to be published later....

1)My employment contract papers screamed out loud:Your email id will be firstname.lastname@blahblah.com. On my new job,I gladly started sending n receiving mails.Tried very hard to configure Outlook on a new machine with this email id.It was 3 full weeks later that i realized my email id wasn't what I had thought it was.Talk of the "attention to detail" n "observant" that i boast of on my resume!!!Embarrassing scene indeed when a colleague pointed out my dhakkan act.

2)We headed enthusiastically 2 the main campus for our freshers' party.Riding pillion on JP's bike had my dapper self all soaked in slush.Managed 2 wash some of it off my neat white skirt with the DETTOL that Barbie helped me with.Picked up a funda from her.......Gals jst need 2 spend an hour in the restroom 2gether n tnx 2 their gossipping abilities,they'll come out as best friends!

Then headed 2 the ATM to show Ro how to make cheque deposits.On my way back, a guy in black extended his hand,called me by my name n said a "hi".There i went rat-a-tat-a-tat....."Haaaaai" ....hand shake-shake-shake...."But Iam so sorry i don't recognize u.Iam terrible at remembering n associating faces n names.Ur face looks familiar but i don't quite rem where i've met u" n he instantly snapped "Ora Hyd".I smelt big time fish n retorted "But I was never at Ora Hyd" n the stumped guy swept clean with a "Oh!I was at Ora Blore 4 smtm n then moved to Ora Hyd".We exchanged a few common pleasantries n then parted ways.I returned 2 my huge tapori gang tht ws giving me inquisitive glares by now.They all started clapping n pullin my leg abt the way i supposedly POUNCED on this guy.Ro revealed later that she had FIXED it all up n he was jst my current colleague....not anyone i KNEW evn by face earlier!!!

3)This was the smartest of all my fools' day pranks.....one that made me laugh so hysterically for so long n not surprisingly, it came from someone who has gifted me with a helluva lota smiles for as long as I can remember :) This one can't be published ..... atleast not right now!

Quote for the day:Common looking people are the best in the world: that is the reason the Lord makes so many of them. ---- Abraham Licoln

whoa

2005-03-29T17:09:00.000+05:30

yaaaaaaaaahooooooooooooo.I get about 15 mins of comp access everyday from now which means the daily updates r gonna happen,albeit in a shorter no-nonsense format......oops,did I say NO-nonsense!?!Typo typo ....i meant ALL-nonsense :)

Highlights of my blog-hibernation period:
===============================
1)Trip to Yercaud
2)Read Digital Fortress
3)Read Godfather
4)Refreshed my wardrobe with 10 new sets of clothes!
5)More to follow.

Instructor's around n Iam fooling around on the comp.Back to having my daily dose of Orkut,Yahoo msngr n bloggie....in hypo-minimal quantities that refuse to sate my enormous appetite though.

Got a team dinner to attend at Windsor Manor tonight.Lookin forward 2 having a blast.

Book Currently Reading:The Road Less Travelled
Quote for the day: It's not the size of the dog in the fight, its the size of the fight in the dog. -- Mark Twain

Resolution hasn't been violated this time

2005-03-21T16:18:00.000+05:30

Boooooooooooo hoooooooooooo

That's how I sound after a week in my new job.Not that it has anything to do with the campus/work culture/team/people/work/pay.All these are more wonderful than words can say.What does trigger the "boo hoo" is the way I have been mercilessly cut off from civilization......no comp,no fone is where it stands right now.....which translates to no mail,no msngr,no chatting oer the fone.Asif gave my cell fone a bath n the damn thing refuses to work too.So tht leaves me craving for means of communication. Now u commentators know why the Monday never seemed to come.I have been keeping my word of 1 blog per day.Will put it up here as soon as I get a comp to do so.Bunkin a training session n banging away on this keyboard right now.High time I got back n continued to be the stupid joker back in the training room :)

Reminders galore

2005-02-26T16:17:00.000+05:30

Shame on me!Shame on me!It took me reminders from 4 people to get back to blogging.....the 'reminders' as I'd like to call em, ranged from "Y the hell haven't u been writing of late?Iam a regular reader.I'll keep a TAB ON YOU thru ur blog after u move on from this job" to "pleeeeeeeeeez write one today na":) n then there were the 'reminders' in the actual sense of the word blarin out loud "ur resolution#2 is broken" :( So Dr.Maverick's back to bandage the broken resolution.

Well, I just completed reading 'To Kill a Mocking Bird' by Harper Lee.I liked it,especially the character Atticus.I'll need some time to get back with a review on it.Just to 'remind' myself,I've got the foll blogging tasks pending:

1.To Kill a Mocking Bird
2.Black

The past few days have been terrible at office.I've had to slog like hell.......felt like I was a handicapped child of God coz I have just two god-damned hands.I badly felt the need for 6 to handle the workload that was pouring in all at once.To add to it,I've been on a signature campaign to get my no-dues form signed.It needs not less than 25 items to be signed and I've been scampering around like crazy, trying to get that done.When you join a company,they make you fill 101 forms.When you leave you need to get 101 forms signed.The best part is the in-between part - all day tp,have a jolly good time.

Discussed my tour plans with pop today.Alas!bro can't come.I guess it'll be the me+dad+chubs tweety threesome again.Plan to drive down to Mahabaleshwar,Lonavala and Panchgani.I heard it is an awesome road to drive on.Craving to go on this 12-hour long drive.My 15 days' break wil be a welcome breather, Iam sure,considering all that I've lined up for myself for the pampering-myself-period.Travelling to Mysore tomorrow to see poor ol' granny who had a fall and compressed her spine :( Also have a wedding to attend.Back to EFFECTIVE blogging from Monday onwards :)

Loafing on Saturday...

2005-02-22T17:34:00.000+05:30

The jobless moron suddenly seems to have lots to do on weekends.Watched 'Black' on Saturday.Poor Sammie missed out yet again.I won't harp about how the movie was.I've a separate movie-review section in my blog for just that.I should say I was touched by the movie though - just as much as the lesson 'Hellen Keller' (upon which Black is based)had moved me when I was a kid.Later joined darling Sush at Transit.Met up with Savvy,quickly exchanged greetings,some short general chatter and then took off in Sush's car to Suvarna.Oh man!shopping's always fun with Sush around.Between the two of us, there's not a minute's silence that the shopkeeper can seize to put across his points and practise his marketing crap.Whether it's shopping things as silly as guavas or going to down to Santosh to get our salwar suits stitched or shopping for Shwe or popping in popcorn with no general purpose of shopping, Sush n I r adorable company to each other.You better not write nasty comments contradicting my self-proclaimed adorable company if you ever read this,Sush.Having bought a couple of dress materials and having yapped our heads off about everything that mattered to us under the sun,we finally parted at my doorstep but not before deciding upon a date for our next night out.The rest of Saturday passed off in flaunting my pretty selection to mom,dad,bros n everyone who cared to see.

Thought for the day:"Being defeated is often a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent." - Marilyn Vos Savant

Carrots,eggs n coffee

2005-02-22T17:15:00.000+05:30

Another nice mail.My pal laughs n scorns when I neatly copy-paste something onto the blog like this......says I do it just for the heck of keeping up the "one blog a day" resolution,tries to make me feel guilty n all.But no,this is just the second time Im doin it n Im not collecting every damn forward here.........just the stuff tht I find really really nice.n Iam gonna write a diff blog for "blog for the day" anyways,so no guilt pricking me pallie.....betr luck next time.

***********************************************

A carrot, an egg and a cup of coffee...
You will never look at a cup of coffee the same way again.

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling.
It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water
And placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil.

In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil, without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the
Carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.

Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me, what do you see?"
"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied. Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft.

The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg.

Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee.
The daughter smiled, as she tasted its rich aroma.

The daughter then asked, "What does it mean, mother?"

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity ... boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak.
The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened.

The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

"Which are you?" she asked her daughter.

"When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?"

Think of this: Which am I?

Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor.

If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level?

How do you handle adversity?
ARE YOU A CARROT, AN EGG OR A COFFEE BEAN?

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything
They just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling.

Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.

Book Review - Sack the CEO

2005-02-17T16:12:00.000+05:30

Title:Sack the CEO
Author:Jeetendra Jain
Number of pages:247
Price:Rs.245/-
Copyright:Vikas Publication House
Published in:2003
My Rating:****

'Sack the CEO' is a fairly humourous book on corruption and hunger for power in the corporate top-brass,offering innovative (but what I would also call a little far-fetched and slightly impractical) ways to oust such an epidemic from the organization. The book is organized into three parts.

Business at Twist In the Tale Limited(TITL),a company that manufactures computer mouses for the rat-race, is going haywire.Corruption is rampant.Topgun,CEO of TITL is quick to pass the buck.He enjoys fat kickbacks and plays smart in the affairs of TITL where fraud,bribery and sycophancy are the rule of the day.

Part 1 introduces the three main characters - Smallfry is a modest plodder with great moral standards but no great educational credits to push him up the ladder.Fastrack being an MBA grad knows how t rope up the ladder,has an amazing knack of numbers,social networking and strategy but cares a damn for ethics.Takeiteasy was a trustworthy, 9 to 5 guy who wouldn't get hyper-excited or crestfallen about anything.Pipping out a thoroughly sweated-out genuinely good deal in favour of a lower quality one brought in by one of the CEO's corrupt contacts,denying a deserving guy of a promotion at the last moment even when everyone else literally swore by God that he'd be the next one on the cards for a mouth-watering promotion and promoting a more favoured dolt instead,cancelling a deserving guy's trip abroad just when he turns up all set for the promised trip and sending a CEO's-hot-favourite instead,transferring a guy who refused to fudge accounts - these are some o the incidents that get our terrific trio to spring into action and do something to check the rampant corruption.The description of characters is pretty humourous and any employed guy/gal would be able to relate well to this.
This whole part about how top-level corruption takes its toll on honest employees who either do not know the nitty-gritty of the trade or know it all but do not adopt it,thanks to their always being charily perched in the shadows of their moral hats has been presented well and makes for good reading.

Part 2 talks about the varied multitude of ways in which corruption manifests itself amongst CEOs - supposedly the most powerful people spearheading a company.In part 1, the reader gets a taste out of how the character is going by the name of the character itself.Sticking to the same style of nomenclature in part 2 to describe different kinds of corrupt CEOs makes the whole description very guessable and devoid of any surprises.Halfway through the second part, the reader begins to feel a slight pinch of lack punch.The description gets unenjoyably long.It runs into pages despite the fact that the reader can get the summary of each character's description just by looking at the character name and reading a para or two.Eg:Crony Capone has a bunch of sycophant cronies boot-licking him,Talk-the-Talk doesn't quite do he talks about doing,Volte-Face does a U-turn on his decisions,Siphon De Cash loots the company for his own selfish interests,Next Job is more interested in leveraging the niceties of his current job in order to get him a better job next,Family Man builds a dynasty rule by getting his family members juicy jobs in the company and so on.I personally found this part extremely boring especially when I was through with the descriptions of the first two or three CEO types.

Part 3 provides some enlightenment on how the ouster plans can be implemented to get rid of Topgun.If the CEO has a sweetheart,work your way through her.Track his phone calls and emails,give this info to the press.Give crucial info about him to the competitor company,distribute this info to the head hunters and watch them vie for him.Last but not the least,choose a vice-captain and help him groove into the new CEO spot.Using these,our three heros oust Topgun,administer a new guy in his place and then start a consultancy of their own called Yestecee,which ofcourse has NO CEO.

Some of the ideas presented are so risk-prone and far-fetched that it wouldn't even be on anyone's remote dream list to try stuff like that!All in all, I would say 'Sack the CEO' is worth a read.I could relate so well to the happenings at TITL,except that I had to imagine my TL in place of Topgun.Isn't really hilarious but it definitely is enjoyably comical,except for a boring part 2.

Excerpts:

(1)So what constitutes the board of directors?(besides some octogenarians with one foot in the grave and the other in your company)

(2)You might be tempted to apply for the CEO's job at Yestecee.Don't.Summarily,you will be rejected.They don't need one.

Other stuff worth a mention:Check out the bookmark that is provided with this book.It's a pretty creative and cool one.There's a tie that's shaped like a noose.

Author Profile:Jeetendra Jain is an electronics engineer and an MBA (Marketing) from IIMB.He has worked with big brands like GE Capital,Thomas Cook and Ogilvy & Mather.He has a rich experience of over 13 years.He has been a cartoonist for Indian Express and has been writing marketing literatire for Business World,Business Standard and Brand Equity.Can be reached at jeetendrajain@hotmail.com

Quarter life crisis

2005-02-17T15:44:00.000+05:30

I still find this mail nice....must've come into my mailbox as a forward,atleast a dozen times by now.

"Being Twenty-Something"
They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.
You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and they aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.
You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.
Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure.
You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused.
Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.
You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you.
Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better.
Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person.
One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.
You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!
"What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it" We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.
Think abt it...maybe it will help u out to come out of confusion and feel like you aren't alone in this state of confusion.....
GOOD LUCK TO ALL OF US!!!!!

Last few days in lazy bum's paradise

2005-02-16T17:37:00.000+05:30

The nth time Iam listening to "performnce appraisal isn't a numbers game here in this great org" from my mgr.When the appraisals do come,they speak for themselves n numbers r all tht matter.If someone were to hang a loose noose around my mgr's neck n tighten it by a millimetre for every lie he blurted out, he wud die in less than half an hour.God bless!

Was browsing thru some science n tech stuff on New York Times today.Scrolled thru this article that spoke about how Pentagon is gonna have robo soldiers replacing human ones by 2010.They're spending a whoppin $502.3 billion in 2010, excluding the costs of war!!!That's when my bestessssst buddy came up with a snide remark "n we still call humans the most intelligent species!".Humans.I learnt today,are infact the 3rd on the list,behind dolphins n one other species.This reminds me Iam yet to make a post on my views about intelligence per se.Was also supposed to pen a review of Sack the CEO today but my machine's gona get relocated now n I'll do it tomorrow w/o fail.

The way these stupid relocations work!It's so ridiculous n funny......When something can be accomplished in simple ways,these damn processes that keep an organization functioning smoothly turn out 2 b double-edge swords.For instance, my team's relocating today and I got to move to a cube that's 3 cubes away from mine.Since the whole team's relocating,they couldv'e just sent 2 guys to help with moving the machines n phones.But no!!The process says you should log separate requests for PC relocation,local phone relocation and ISD call phone relocation, note each of the request numbers for future reference,get each of these requests approved by the manager,call the admin guys to speedily attend to the request,give them details of the desktop's CPU number,monitor number n whatever pther thousands of numbers they ask for and finally drag your b**t out of the god damned place!!Well, now that Iam done with it,I'll have Kamble n Priya for new neighbours.Priya is an extreme introvert,Kamble n I r non-stop yappers when it comes to fighting wid each other.So will hopefully have fun here for the remaining 12 days that Iam here.

Quip for the day:A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

Links

2005-02-16T17:03:00.000+05:30

Found a whole lot of interesting links today.I'll keep adding to this list when I find good ones.Reminds me of Karthic's "You idiot!!!!!u save all your links like this!?! There is a new technological wonder called FAVOURITES on your browser" :) Well, I don't surf on the same machine always, u c....

Too stupid to try n compile links when u have google but these r a few that I particularly liked:

Science and Technology:
http://www.technologyreview.com
http://howstuffworks.com

Vocab:
http://hyperdictionary.com
http://wordanywhere.com
http://www.m-w.com

Learn Langs:
http://www.studyspanish.com/

Comics:
http://www.ucomics.com/calvinandhobbes
http://dilbert.com/

Miscellaneous:
http://www.hookedonfacts.com/index.htm
http://www.kubik.org/lighter/think.htm

Junk fun stuff:
http://www.nortie.com

Resolutions n targets

2005-02-15T15:44:00.000+05:30

1-Jan-2005 is history now but it's neva 2 late 2 make my resolutions.Quantifiable resolutions r wat Iam lookin at this year.Otherwise I'll have no way to check whether I've lived my resolutions.So will have to bear with the metrics that I so terribly detest.

Set 1:
------
Aim:To revive my hobbies and interests that aren't getting enough
-----
attention these days n r facing the threat of becoming extinct.

Hehe I find it so stupid n funny to set quantifiable targets even in the 'hobbies' n 'interests' area but then
(1)bein the typical Virgo that Iam,it's no surprise tha Iam a lil hyper-orderly n meticulous about every damn thing I do.I do enjoy being meticulous n being v v clear about what I want outa life.
(2)I used 2 do a whole lot of all the below-mentioned stuff but now,I've become a pretty sad time-manager.I love these activities very dearly so I got 2 pick up on these n set aside some time consciously before I wake up one day n realize I've totally given up wat I like doing.

So here goes:
(1)Will read atleast one book per week and write a review.
(2)Will not become alien to the happenings around me - will keep in touch with the daily news,spending atleast an hour on it each day.
(3)Will watch atleast one movie in 15 days and write a review.
(4)Will play the veena for atleast half an hour every alternate day.
(6)Will play atleast one game of chess and/or learn one new chess funda every four days.
(7)Will blog every week day."Nothing to write today" not counted :) , book n movie reviews counted.
(8)Will sketch/paint/complete atleast one artwork (have loads of them half-finished,dumped under the cot....remember?) once in two months.
(9)Will practise Reiki for atleast 15 minutes everyday.

That sounded so much like a 5-year old kid's imposition book!

Set 2:
------
Aim:To have better emotional control than the good level of control
----
that I already do .

(1)Won't react impulsively especially with not-so-close people when Iam pissed off.Will instead keep mum for a while n tell myself 5 times to treat em the way I'd wana b treated if I were to be in their place.

Rest will be updated tomorrow,dear Bloggie,for I got to go home now.

digging astro stuff

2005-02-15T13:57:00.000+05:30

TraditionalVirgo Traits:
Modest and shy - modest yeah but shy????me????hehehe ask my frenz
Meticulous and reliable
Practical and diligent - practical yeah,diligent no
Intelligent and analytical

On the dark side....
Fussy and a worrier - yeah :(
Overcritical and harsh - this is reserved strictly for people who r v v close 2 me.
Perfectionist and conservative - perfectionist yeah :( conservative 2 a wee extent
http://www.astrology-online.com/virgo.htm - This ws a fairly accurate listing.Looked up some of my frenz' signs too n quite a number of crosses matched.

Humour

2005-02-14T12:46:00.000+05:30

Now, this is what I call corporate humour....

Sifting thru my cluttered inbox was a pain this morning.Mails had bundled up since I was on leave on Friday.Found a mail sent in by our senior VP.It was regarding some nonsensical guidelines for effective and accurate written communication.Here's what the post scriptum of the mail read:
NB: Before sending mail – Please use spell check to avoid miss communication
hehehehe!Reminds me of a pick from Dilbert,that I have rephrased to add some spice - "The incompetent slugs who are deprived of matter up north are carefully picked up and promoted to be managers" :)

Spoke to my HR and dished out the "reasons for quitting" for the nth time in a row.My manager seems to be creatin problems with my relieveing dates :( He wants me to either stay for the whole one month period or pay up n get lost!Come on Mr.Manager,a 3-day waiver is all Iam askin for.

Thought for the day:"Before seeking revenge, first dig two graves." - Chinese proverb

Fun oer the weekend

2005-02-14T08:00:00.000+05:30

Had been to the orphanage the other day to check out if I could contribute towards adopting a kid.The kid will be solely my responsibility,except that it won't stay under the same roof as mine.I'll have to cater to its food,clothing and educational expenses.But daaaaaaamn!i was in for some disappointment.Those guys at the orphanage said:(1)You can't choose the kid. (2)You just got to pay 15k a year n forget abt it.They'll use it for the betterment of all the 58 children in the orphnage.That didn't sound too interesting to me.Got to go hunting for another orphanage that doesn't have such restrictions now.

After some unwelcome weekend bores,I finally stepped outa home as usual to go loafing.Mom keeps sayin I was born with wheels under my feet!"U r all the time all over the place" is how she describes this loafer.Missed the ISC family day function....or should I say swapped it for an awesome time at Amoeba?Bowling was fun,especially for someone who bowls PEOPLE over ;-) :-p Won a cute lil penguin in the counter-stopping video game.I find ice-hockey eternally amusing too although the board clearly reads "Only for kids" :) V,J,RG,Sundy's company was fun.Wound up Sunday with a long game of chess.It always gets so long when I have dear lil Chubby for an opponent.Was fun.I won :) That marvellous chess board that V,J n RG presented for my bday seems to be a sort of a lucky charm for me.Haven't lost a single game on that board.
Before I sign off,here's a small piece that i picked up from the impressive old Vaswani's discourse:

God answers all our prayers in one of the following 4 ways:
(1)He says YES n grants us what we wish to have.
(2)He says "No my child, i won't give u this.This isn't for ur ultimate good" n he doesn't give us what's not good for us.
(3)He says "Not yet my child, just wait n I'll give it to you at the right time" n finds an opportune moment to grant our wish.
(4)I forgot what this last one was! :(

Book currently reading:To kill a mocking bird by Harper Lee

Aamchi Mumbai

2005-02-07T19:23:00.000+05:30

Mumbai,here i come:The vey next day started off with a scare from people who were saying...."oh! did they ask u to reconsider?then ur notice period hasn't started yet".Clarified the point with my mgr n ws finally at peace with my move.It was a day of tremendous activity.Thanks to my persistence and convincing powers,dad had finally given in to my requests of letting me go to Mumbai for my SP interview.Got a few calls in the evening and one really really unexpected one - she ws a friend with whom my reln wsn't exactly great after all the breach of trust tht happened.As I picked her call and faked some courtesy-sake excitment,came the real "matlab" of the call n it ws time for me to get skeptical abt people ever wanting to give pure courtesy "how r u"calls.....some people never call w/o a reason n I might as well live with this truth.Was reminded of the 'doormat' funda of one of my best frenz who used to whine "i was just used like a doormat when i was needed n then disposed off"!Well, thanks to the emotional detachment that I have consciously n successfully been practising for quite sometime now(I have a very select few friends with whom I know I can let my guard down n get as emotional as I want.With everyone else it's 'emotionally distant for our own good'),Iam now in a position to successfully ward off such victimizers.They dare not treat me like door mats.
Dear C came home in the evening to gimme as much gyaan as he could abt current affairs.This guy has a pretty impressive GK.Started packing at 11:30pm n had to leave home latest by 6:45am.Drew some quick cash n set out on a drive to the airport with mom n dad.After some hugs,"all the best"s n "take care"s,I nearly lost my boarding pass at the luggage check-in!C n Shoum were there 2 see Nan n me off.Squeezed into the window seat with a lota trouble cz of the really really huge guy occupying the aisle seat n comfortably settled down with the newspaper.Breakfast came in flashing "TAJ" on all containers n I knew I was in for some free laxatives for sure.The two dosas were no bigger than two botis straightened out n upma was awful.The pleasant sight of the clouds below and the highly handsome hunks who were our air hosts more than made up for the bad food though.At a certain point,the clouds below looked like a huge bed of cotton and ice with a few punctures made here n there,revealing some awesome scenic landscape below.The last time I flew was to Hyderabad n Inidian Airlines had definitely made it a flight to remember.Hopped off at the airport onto a rick n headed straight to Bhavan's.Checked in,submitted our DDs and were led through a labyrinth of construction work,stone-n-mud paths and hedges to finally reach our accommodation.The campus was not what I would call beautiful.Just as we thought Nan n I wud share a room n chuck the other seemingly boring kid i(DebLeena) into another, the co-ordinator announced "there r 10 beds in there,u can share em'.Shux!!!our idea of a hostel room was not exactly a dorm.But on stepping in, we saw tht it was a pretty neat place,with the bedding all white n clean.Crashed for a while,made a few calls,hogged at Vrindavan and spent a major 5 hours at a cybercafe,researching for our interviews.Not an iota of effort put in until then n it felt funny to try n cram like this - back to the good ol engg exam days!Whether I would get thru or not,the fact that I persuaded my parents 2 let me go n chuck their supposedly awesome groom who didn't want his wife 2 study,gave me a lot of satisfaction.After cribbing a little about the disgusting campus,we visited a temple on the campus on our way back.Found the delicate Deb there....her dad,right from the start,treated her like she was a 2-year-old kid who was learning to walk.Nan n I began missing home like crazy.We must've blown atleast 500/- calling our folks :)
Ints - our purpose for visiting Mumbai: Interviews were a roller coaster too.....1st round ws pretty awesome for me,then the MAT test ws ok,the second round of int ws horrible - wasn't upto my satisfaction atleast but Nan kept saying I ws jst being overcritical as usual.There was one response that I would particularly want to remember:about job changes, the interviewer questioned "u deliberately don't expose ur weaknesses to ur interviewer...isn't it wrong to lie like this?Our scriptures say "Satyameva jayate"" n I retorted "but the scriptures also say "satyam apriyam na bruuyaat"Ur approach in such a situation should be focus-and-goal-based.Since the goal here is to market urself well, u should be talking about ur USPs and not weaknesses ".Good one!Online test followed n I ws glad we were finally done,glad 2 get back home.Met up with Sin n Ash,shopped,hogged the famous Mumbai ka paav bhaaji.My Shakespearean English didn't go well with the waiter and we had a hilarious scene with his local Hindi countering my supposedly accented English.Nan had 2 intervene n bail me out by placing my orders in a language tht the waiter understood.She still pulls my leg big time for being such aan Angrezi mem joker.
My opinion of Mumbai:(1)Rick meters function crazily.We travelled for half an hour,meter showed Rs.4.70 and we paid up 50/- Go figure!
(2)Wil vouch for this- this city NEVER sleeps.Dinner time's 11pm.Thot we'dget a glimpse of Mumbai at night n went out to dine at 11.Golly!The restaurant was so crowded,no place to sit.In contrast, when I returned to Bangy at 10:30,all shops were closed n I had to go home all starved :(
(3)Hopelessly overcrowded streets.Iam still amazed by how our rick puller waded through the endless stream of people who were millimeters away from being knocked down.
(4)Awesome food.No two ways about that.....especially the paav bhaji has definitely EARNED its fame here.
(5)Amazingly impressive n efficient public transport system.The local trains are so very well-managed n punctual.Learn Bangy learn.
(6)Pretty helpful and cordial people.Rickwaalas generally don't cheat outsiders like they do here n people don't guide u the wrong way like they do in TN.
(7)99% of the buildings present a miserable old-fort kinda picture.They very badly need the due-for-50 years white wash.
Learnings that came out of the Mumbai trip:
(1)Rather than my "no reln cz of a subconscious fear of break-up" stance,it's wiser to adopt a "take it in ur stride" attitude n let ur guard down a wee bit when ur fairly sure.
(2)Be more careful while uttering stupid things in front of people who aren't all that close to you.
(3)Communicate with people in a manner that THEY feel comfortable with.
(4)Equipping myself with knowledge gives me the best feel-good feeling about myself.I feel the best about myself when I feel Iam smart n well-informed.
(5)Should sharpen my presence of mind .....dreamgal needs a shake-up.Shouldn't dream away 2 glory atleast during an interview!
Book: Sack the CEO by Jeetendra Jain
Thought for the day:Life is about chasing the things you think are truly worth it, even if they don't happen, I'd rather have nothing but know I didn't settle for something I didn't want!
-Selma Hayek

daily humdrum

2005-01-27T15:54:00.000+05:30

The drive to office this morning was extra-ordinarily cool.Maybe it had to do with the unusual morning-freshness of my mind too cz I rose with the sun for once.My mind was still lost in yday's fun time spent at Megabowl and Spice Garden on my team outing.It was baskin in the joyful warmth of yday's memories of winning the bowling game, the romantic ambience at Spice Garden (oh boy! the couch felt empty without a special someone next to me),the aroma of good food,the gyaan I got about 'fried icecream', my manager's oh-so-sad jokes(My manager's earnest Herculean effort at humour fails miserably time and again like the spider in Robert the Bruce's story.Try try again,Mr.Manager.U have a long way to go).It was now my turn to put in some Herculean effort and drag my mind outa the warmth of this hangover right into the warmth of today's sun that was scorching bright n reminding me of the embarrassnig fact that I was again late as usual to hit the road to hell for another long day's grind.Dragged myself outa home,whizzed thru the usual parks showcasing all of nature's hues,spotted a long-haired hunk on the way,got foul-mouthed by yet another drunken rickshaw puller n finally landed at my desk (read 'my wooden bed that's just short of a decent pillow') by 7:55.Boy!that was a neat 55 mins late :)

While i got busy in the act of trying to act busy,Santosh and Sandeep buzzed to gimme a whole lota gyaan about SPJ.Poor Santosh sed he got belted in the interviews but ws glad he survived the first round.Sandeep ws hopeful though.Hope they make it.Rags passed by my desk,putting in his hackneyed comment "kabhi kabhi kaam bhi kiya karo!".Had to skip breakfast 2 talk 2 these people......not like I miss the worms on my plate anyways :) Did some general tp in my cybercafe.....stumbled upon http://in.rediff.com/news/2004/sep/18look.htm amazing talent there!Wat the heck am I doing with my veena,painting,chess,reiki n stuff!?!High time I got them kickstarted again.

After the usual hustle-bustle of daily-work n some endless cribbing about how my joblessness here has sucked my mental thought-process and creativity of whatever lil life it had,I had a few consultants' calls to attend.Changing jobs is no easy deal especially when it comes to accepting one amongst a spate of seemingly cash-draining/brain-draining offers.Got 2 mug for my test on Saturday.Miss college big time.....I would atleast have a whole junta of 50 people cribbing along with me about having to start from page 1 of 300 for tomorrow morning's test!To add to this misery, Mr.moron had to call me today n describe his awesome long drive yday which ended up being a 320-km drive,extending into a resort stay right at the top of Yelagiri.Man!!!!now that's wat I call cool........jst go when u feel like it,Dil Chaahta hai ishtyle,if u come back on the same day from ur "long drive",gud 4 ppl at home.If u come back the next day after a resort stay, good 4 u.If u don't come back at all .............well, goodbye for today dear Bloggie Buddy.Hope I have more than just daily humdrum to write about tomorrow.Will come to office in an upbeat mood,come what may!

My first blog

2005-01-25T13:03:00.000+05:30

Whoa!Feeling damn excited about finally getting down to pen my first blog......Doesn't take much to excite this enthu cutlet, I guess :)

Was wondering why a simple thing like starting off a blog could get me so pumped up and a lil bit of soul searching followed......

There used to be a time when the kiddo me wud pen down the nice lil details of my everyday life in a neat lil diary......a young la-Annie Frank indeed.At that tender age,however, the sole purpose of penning down things in a diary was just to go by the bright write-your-daily-diary advice that mom gave me.Rewinding to those years,she was what I perceived as 'the most intelligent know-all kinda human being' n if she was telling me to scribble in a diary,wat the heck! it HAD to be a very bright idea indeed.So off I went,penning page after page everyday.I,as a kid,had a jolly good time flaunting my diary - which at that time had everything from my babble to friend-list to favourite yummies list to newspaper cutouts to homework list to small talk about the everyday happenings in school! When I could find nothing at all to write about, I'd put in a sketch for kicks just to show off later to mom that I've been updating my diary EVERY single day and get those wonderful appreciation pecks on my cheek from her :) I must also mention that one of the hidden purposes was to improve my handwriting and keep the wicked Ms.Mukta at bay.Gosh!Wat a nightmare of a teacher she was!The daemoness of my wee world used to break my knuckles and shatter her glass bangles in the process of slapping her naughty pupil.Flipping thru the pages of such wonderful memories,random musingz and yeah!sometimes the nasty things that I had penned down, gave me a free trip to the immensely enjoyable world of nostalgia......a world that would refresh my lil learnings picked up carefully and painstakingly in the years gone by,a world that would remind me of cronies who were once/are such an integral part of my life,a world that would remind me of the best and the worst of my moods,a world that would reveal the best and the worst of my attitude to the awesome goodies as well as the hum-drum of daily life......in toto, a world that I enjoyed visiting time n again.

With the passage of time,however,the appreciation pecks failed to work their magic because the now audacious me,knew I'd get em neways - diary or no diary :) The daily updates dwindled in number and some of the best and the worst events of my life,some of the best ideas that the maverick mind came up with, some of the soul-searching questions that I had and am still grappling with - they all went without a mention in my treasured diary.No solid reason to stop scribbling I guess.....any way,some things are dead n buried in the past that has gone by and it's inconsequential to dig into the 'why n how' of them anymore.College saw a smal revival of this practice but I was a big fat lazy bum by then!When I got everyday free access to a comp of my own with a free fast internet connection at this 'cyber cafe' (read 'MY OFFICE') ,i thought Id get down to writing again.......I somehow thought my life was way too interesting,way too happening to just go down to the grave without a soul knowing about the wonderful epitaph it deserved.By now, a desire to write an autobiography in the dusky years of my life had grown very strong,not to forget mentioning the concern about the handful of readers who'd pro'ly pick it up :) This brought back reminders of my diary - now a thing of the past,safely tucked away to gather dust in one of those dingy corners of my cosy room.I was fascinated with the idea of reviving the whole joie-de-vivre by writing a blog.But thanks to a few hard lessons about the big bad world,about how some people can misuse any kinda info that they know about someone,about how revealing your deepest self to a comrade could work against you at times, I remained skeptical about the whole idea of penning down wat touched me deep within.But now, I have struck the middle path again and here Iam - writing a blog, taking care to draw the lines where I should, to write about the stuff that I think is ok to share, to hide the rest with my good ol friend - the dust-gathering diary :)